Category Archives: Movies

Hello “The Dark Knight Rises” a review – “Blogging One Year On – Intermission Part 2 – the pee break or “The Joker always wins”


I will attempt to keep the hyperbole and spoilers to a minimum.

It was pretty awesome though.

**A minor spoiler alert coming**

The money shot of Anne Hathaway’s leather clad tush bent over as she rides that motorbike is the new Catherine Zeta-Jones Entrapment moment for this generation. If you don’t know what I’m talking about regarding Entrapment then forget about it you young whipper snapper and/or cultural philistine. Just enjoy your generations version of it.

I will say that The Dark Knight is still my favourite. I don’t think anyone could compare to Heath Ledgers The Joker as the a comic-book villain turned comic-book-movie villain. Maybe it’s just me, maybe there’s something about the demented, chaotic nature that was portrayed on the screen by Mr Ledger that rings with me. Or hell I could just have a huge man-crush on Heath. Who knows?

But The Dark Knight Rises doesn’t lag like The Dark Knight did. I’m a comic book nerd from way back, and Batman has always been one of my favourite characters. But even I remember when watching The Dark Knight thinking at certain points “when is this movie going to end?”. I never got that with The Dark Knight Rises, again maybe it was the company. Sandwiched between two extremely attractive women in the dark has a way of making time go relatively faster. Or it could just have been a more tightly knitted movie. Or maybe it was Anne Hathaway in a tight leather body suit.

Hmmmmmm… Anne Hathaway in a tight leather body suit.

*droooooooooooool*

The thing about the rebooted world of Batman that Christopher Nolan (the director) has created is that it’s populated by normal people. There are no X-Men, Supermen, Spidermen  or Norse Gods. Batman, The Joker, Rhas Al-Ghul (baddie from the first movie) Bane, they were all normal people, pushed to do extraordinary things. In the case of the villains, extraordinarily bad things, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was extraordinary.

The problem with Rhas Al-Ghul was that he was too remote, too cold, too cerebral. Batman without the burning anger and sense of justice.

The problem with Bane is that he’s exactly like Batman, physical, angry, powerful, with sense of justice (warped as it is).

That’s why the Joker trumps both of them. He’s the opposite side of the same coin as Batman. As different from him as he was exactly the same. The yin to his yang. The chaos to his order. The extrovert to his introvert. The nut-job crazy to his guano crazy. It was fascinating to watch.

So cheers to you Mr Ledger, you’ve set a bar for the comic-book-movie-villain that may not be matched for a very long time.

Clap. Clap. Clap. (that’s the sound he made in the movie, not sarcasm)

 

Hello “The Dark Knight Rises” or “Blogging One Year On – Intermission”


…………………….Let’s all go to the lobby!

…………………………………………………………..Let’s all go to the lobby!

…………………………….Let’s all go to the lobby!

…………………………………………………………………………Let’s all go to the lobby!

And buy over priced confectionery for consumption during the film, because the subliminal messages during the previews told us to.

La la laaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Just a little break from the fast-paced, heart-thumping, jaw-dropping, mouth-watering, muscle-flexing, and a-lot-of-other-hyphenated-adjective-phrases-ending-with-“-ing”, tale of ninja lemmings, samurai mole rats and homosexual robots. Oh and the unicorns. We must never forget about the unicorns.

I’m sitting in a bar as I finish this off on my iPad. Yes I realise that makes me look a bit like a douche, but screw it. Being in my 30’s I’m old enough not to give a rats arse about what anyone thinks of me as I make my way, grumbling at you young’uns and heckling the older folks, towards the blessed land of Grumpy Old Men.

I’m here because Girl B (whose tale is laid out here) is back in my neck of the country, and has arranged for her and myself AND Girl A (whose tale is also told in the above link) to have a drink.

That’s right.

The 2 girls who I have been interested in the past 18 months have taken it upon themselves to arrange drinks for the three us.

Together.

In the same bar.

Together.

At the same time.

Did I mention we were all going to be together?

Now this is an accident waiting to happen.

Welcome to my life folks. 🙂

It was actually going to be a surprise for me. Girl B had contacted me and arranged for the two of us to get together, but I scored free tickets to the state premier of The Dark Knight Rises. Yup folks you read that right. I shall be watching the new Batman movie a full day before it goes out on release in Australia, and a full two days before the rest of the world. MUAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Awesome is somehow not enough to describe this….

Anyways, enough of me bragging and rubbing the amazingness of this moment in your faces. Let’s get back to the imminent disaster waiting to happen, cause that’s a lot more entertaining for you folks. Sadistic bastards the lot of you. 🙂 Much love.

So the get together between the three of us was going to be a surprise, but I called Girl B to see if she could also make it to the movie. That’s when she let the cat out of the bag that Girl A was also supposed to join us. This had me scrambling for yet another free ticket. Which of course I found cause I am awesome. So now the three of us will be going for drinks, then attending a premiere of maybe one of the most awesome movie trilogy’s ever made.

And to answer your question, no I don’t think anything is going to happen with either of them, and I don’t want anything to happen either. My guess, this whole meeting up they’ve arranged is just to cement the whole issue that both of them would like to remain friends with me and nothing else. And that’s plenty fine with me. With this whole year of blogging series that I’m making up as I go along writing about, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is all for the best.

And to answer your second question yes I shall be doing a review of the movie, and I will make the utmost attempt to not include spoilers but just as a warning if you do not want to be pre-mind-blown skip over tomorrows post.

So here comes the first of them, so (and this is so highly appropriate right now)…

I’ll catch you again folks, same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Saturday Shenanigans – Why I can never be friends with any of you in real life.


Because of the following story.

I try very hard not to give too much details on this blog. Not details about my weird and strange behaviour, you guys get the whole guacamole of that. But regarding specific people, in my life. But the following slice into my social life, well I still won’t be giving away any specific details, but there’s enough that you’d know who I’m talking about if you met them. That, and I don’t think I could cope with the loud silences, significant glances and incessant laughter at my expense. You can do that at home. So internet friends we will remain.

Now… onward and upward.

To begin, I’ll steal from 500 Days of Summer (a worthwhile watch even if all you get out of it is the rules for the “penis game”):

This is a story of boy meets girl(s), but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

Yeah Tom, I know... it sucks...

What you need to know:

Boy: straight

Girl (A): bi-sexual

Girl (B): also… bi-sexual

Now the story (or this how Captain Sweatpants ensures that his life is an example of exactly what NOT [if there was anything else I could do to emphasise the word “not” I would do it] to do):

So. Boy meets Girl (A). Boy and Girl (A) get along splendidly. Boy and Girl (A) however choose to remain friends. I.e. Girl (A) decides that they should be just friends. Boy still has some faint lingering hope, but buries it deep down.

Boy meets Girl (B). Boy and Girl (B) get along splendidly. Girl (B) however is moving the next day to the other side of the country. In a fit of supernatural stupidity (seriously, planets aligned, universes collided, stars went super nova, and all sorts of other cosmic occurrences HAD to have happened in order for me to get THIS stupid. I have to believe that, because the only other answer is, I’m THIS stupid, ALL the time) coupled with copious amounts of alcohol Boy introduces Girl (A) to Girl (B). Girl (A) and Girl (B) are of course attracted to each other cause Boy has great taste in women, although he seems to be hitting a lot of bi-sexuals lately.

He has realised that he has no chance with Girl (A) despite recent events, and has moved on to Girl (B). Boy and Girl (B) have stimulating conversations over the phone, along with Girl (B) sending hot pics of herself to Boy.

Girl (A) however seems to ALSO be interested in Girl (B). And asked Boy to ascertain why Girl (B) had not replied to Girl (A)’s messages.

Boy is now kicking himself for introducing Girl (B) to Girl (A) cause well let’s face it, if you had a choice between a dude and a chick, chick wins hands down.

Like I said…. this is not a love story, not for this wee little piggy anyways.

It could be one for the bi-sexuals though. 🙂

Hello weekly update, under $20,000! *high five* or back to our regularly scheduled programme


I DID IT!

After a decade of being AT LEAST 20 grand in the red, today is the first (and hopefully not the last) day of yours truly being UNDER $20,000 in debt.

*high five’s and bro fist’s all around*

The exact number is $19,926.10.

Interest doesn’t take effect on one of the credit cards until around the 20th of this month and the rest will be at the end of the month. By that time I will have paid off enough to be nudging the $18K plus mark. So fingers crossed, knock on wood, throw salt over shoulder, uncross the path of a black cat, jump over a ladder, close an umbrella in-doors, eat a salad made completely out of four leaf clovers, don’t step on a crack or you break your mothers back, and have sex with a leprechaun, LIFE doesn’t decide to throw me a curveball and I go back to being over 20 g. Please universe? Be good? I’ll do anything. *waggles eyebrows* ANYTHING. If you know what I mean…

But thats not what you voyeurs came to see… you want numbers!

Savings/Emergnecy Fund: +$62.25 = $653.54 (if you’re wondering why there’s a little bit more in here compared to last week, I got a whopping $3.84 in interest! WHOA. Slow down there bank-man… you don’t want to make me filthy rich. It could go to my head.)

Going Out/Gift Fund: +$1.60 = $135.60 (every little bit helps is what I told myself when I transferred that amount into this account… it feels like a lie.)

Bills: +$40= $660 (alright this is static cause I’ve dipped into it to pay for my internet)

THE DEBT (I’m giggling like a school girl just writing these numbers on screen. Excited much? I think so!)

Amex: +$40 = -$3,214.05

ANZ: +$40 = -$4,771.92

Westpac: +$40 = $6,748.99

Citibank: +$160 = -$5,191.14

Total Debt: -$19,926.10. (tee hee hee hee hee)

Anyways thats it for today. Till next time kids! Same bat-time, same bat-channel!