Category Archives: Entertainment

Hello “The Dark Knight Rises” a review – “Blogging One Year On – Intermission Part 2 – the pee break or “The Joker always wins”


I will attempt to keep the hyperbole and spoilers to a minimum.

It was pretty awesome though.

**A minor spoiler alert coming**

The money shot of Anne Hathaway’s leather clad tush bent over as she rides that motorbike is the new Catherine Zeta-Jones Entrapment moment for this generation. If you don’t know what I’m talking about regarding Entrapment then forget about it you young whipper snapper and/or cultural philistine. Just enjoy your generations version of it.

I will say that The Dark Knight is still my favourite. I don’t think anyone could compare to Heath Ledgers The Joker as the a comic-book villain turned comic-book-movie villain. Maybe it’s just me, maybe there’s something about the demented, chaotic nature that was portrayed on the screen by Mr Ledger that rings with me. Or hell I could just have a huge man-crush on Heath. Who knows?

But The Dark Knight Rises doesn’t lag like The Dark Knight did. I’m a comic book nerd from way back, and Batman has always been one of my favourite characters. But even I remember when watching The Dark Knight thinking at certain points “when is this movie going to end?”. I never got that with The Dark Knight Rises, again maybe it was the company. Sandwiched between two extremely attractive women in the dark has a way of making time go relatively faster. Or it could just have been a more tightly knitted movie. Or maybe it was Anne Hathaway in a tight leather body suit.

Hmmmmmm… Anne Hathaway in a tight leather body suit.

*droooooooooooool*

The thing about the rebooted world of Batman that Christopher Nolan (the director) has created is that it’s populated by normal people. There are no X-Men, Supermen, Spidermen  or Norse Gods. Batman, The Joker, Rhas Al-Ghul (baddie from the first movie) Bane, they were all normal people, pushed to do extraordinary things. In the case of the villains, extraordinarily bad things, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was extraordinary.

The problem with Rhas Al-Ghul was that he was too remote, too cold, too cerebral. Batman without the burning anger and sense of justice.

The problem with Bane is that he’s exactly like Batman, physical, angry, powerful, with sense of justice (warped as it is).

That’s why the Joker trumps both of them. He’s the opposite side of the same coin as Batman. As different from him as he was exactly the same. The yin to his yang. The chaos to his order. The extrovert to his introvert. The nut-job crazy to his guano crazy. It was fascinating to watch.

So cheers to you Mr Ledger, you’ve set a bar for the comic-book-movie-villain that may not be matched for a very long time.

Clap. Clap. Clap. (that’s the sound he made in the movie, not sarcasm)

 

Hello and greetings from Nerdvana


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Ahoy muchachorino’s.

I have returned. Captain-er and Sweatpantsier than ever.

True story.

Let’s be honest the last few posts before I took that little break were a mite depressing. Gone were the shameful and ridiculous references to boobs, pole dancing rabbits, puppies and all other things awesome. Instead you were lambasted with self-pitying prose (badly written self-pitying prose I might add) and annoying complaints of my inability to string words into a sentence.

But to that I say “nooooooooooo!” smashes glass and model ships with his phaser I will not sacrifice this blog. We’ve made too many compromises already; too many retreats. Depression invades this space and we fall back. Depression takes over our entire world and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!”

*ahem*

Sorry about that I’ve been getting nerdier over the past couple of weeks and that quote basically reinforces that (special brownie points to the uber-nerd who can ntell me where that paraphrased quotes from, and we’re on the honour system here folks. No google cheating.)

As you probably have surmised my disappearance and my lack of meaningful post was due to a bout of depression. I really thought I had that whole issue licked, but I guess not. It took me a couple of weeks to realise that I had fallen into that trap again, but once I did, I drew on 10 years of managing depression to snap myself out it. And it worked, I’m not sure if it was merely acknowledging that I had depression again, or the weird and whacky ways I did to snap myself out of that funk, but snap I did.

This little Stella got his groove back (giggity) and ready to once again make your mind seem a little less crazy in comparison to mine.

Fer instance.

I mentioned that I’ve been nerding it up the past couple of weeks. That doesn’t even begin to cover it. I am now so far up the Nerd God’s butt I can see sunlight. My nerdhood has become so all mighty and powerful that frankly that might be the last nail in the coffin that holds the corpse of the hope that I will have intercourse with a female ever again. The aura of nerdity surrounds me like a miasma of girl repellant. I am now so nerdy that I actually believe that my virginity has been restored. That’s right folks, you heard right. I have been re-hymenated. 😉

Now what could I possibly have done to get so über-nerd? Simply, I bought an iPad. Pssshaw I hear you scoff, how is that nerdy? Well, because of the number of apps available, the cheapness of said apps and the ease of being able to search and download anything I want, I am now able to gloriously wallow in all the nerdiest of hobbies that I secretly love, behind a thin veneer of socially acceptable Apple geek hood.

Magic: The Gathering : deal me in

Dungeons & Dragons Character Sheet : roll the dice

Nerdcode: nerdgasm!

Star Trek PADD : make it so

IamaDalek : EXTERMINATE!

And god there are so much more, the only thing really stopping me is not the time to actually search for more, because I’m too busy playing around with the ones I already have.

Gah!

So if anyone has any more suggestions on how I can further nerdify and re-hymenate myself with iPad apps please feel free to do so!

Until next time muchachorino’s!

Excelsior!

Hello blogging. I’ve learnt a few things from you, this one is #56


Blogging Rule #56: Never put the word “boobs” in the title of your post. And god forbid you put it in there twice.

The post I’m talking about is this one. It discusses all the afflictions I carried when I stopped going to the gym.

That post is a little over 2 weeks old.

It is now the 2nd most viewed entry in this entire blog, because when people search for “boobs” in Google Image Search, they somehow come to my little corner of the internet. And I have no idea how! I tried this myself (and oh it was such a chore! *KA-BOOM* Hmmmmm, my sarcasm button just exploded for some reason), and after 12 pages I still couldn’t find the photo that I used. There is a similar photo on page 2, but its one of them demotivational posters. Mine is not. So that means these people have scrolled through at least 12 pages of boob pictures to get to the photo I used. And it’s not like they’re searching for “man-boob” (which would make more sense for Google to send them to that particular post) but nope, it’s just “boob”.

Twelve pages!

I was finished halfway through page one! (ifyaknowwhatimean 😛 ba-doom-ching)

In about another 6 weeks I’d say it will be the most viewed, surpassing the entry that was Freshly Pressed.

Which goes to show there are a lot of horny people in the world (actually they’re mostly American’s according to the stats page *grin* you bunch of sick puppies you *hugs*!)

But I feel kinda bad.

I mean all those voyeurs out there (brothers! sisters! otherers!) are on their computers, looking for a pair of one of the universes most glorious creations, and what does Google do in all of its omnipotent power? It takes them to my blog.

Ouch.

That’s like when you drop your wasabi coated peanut on the floor of a movie theatre and then picking it up, (following the 5 second rule of course) and popping it in your mouth to find that it is not your wasabi coated peanut but the detached testicle of a leprosy ridden, gonorrhoea  infected, chlamydia infested, pus ridden warthog (who has chosen the quieter winter months to fly to Australia and have a bit of a holiday, as warthogs do).

So, in order to redress this oh so terrible faux pas on my part, and to stem the tide of angry perverts who may choose to disembowel me for wasting precious bandwidth and seconds of their porn browsing time, I am going to give them boobies.

Five million, three hundred and eighteen thousand and eight to be exact.

So keep scrolling fellow perves! For a vast smorgasbord awaits! A cornucopia even!

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5,318,008 upside down = ( . )( . ) *grin*

Ain’t I a stinker? 😉

Hello music, welcome back into my life.


I have a weird relationship with music.

There are periods when I can go months without even knowing which gym shorts my ipod is currently entombed in, and then I go through a period when I will stay up for days trawling through YouTube and Vuze trying to find songs to fit my mood, and then playing those songs on repeat endlessly until my room mate threatens me with disembowelment.

I’m currently in the latter stage, and I am currently going through a period of searching for covers of songs.

I love covers. Don’t get me wrong. Great original music still has a special place in my heart, but honestly, its harder to find these days.

But someone taking an existing song and giving it their own personal twist, I don’t know, there’s something about that process that strikes a chord in me.

So without further ado, here are a list of songs and covers wihich I think may have actually improved on the original (whether it be through the awesomeness of 5 people playing on one instrument, or the fact a 14 year old MALE can belt out something Whitney Houston did in her prime)

To start off lets keep it Aussie… Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye

And who else could cover an Aussie so brilliantly except our Northern cousins, the Canadians!  Walk Off The Earth – Somebody That I Used To Know (Gotye – Cover). Seriously 5 musicians on one instrument… freaking awesome.

Next we have I Don’t know by Lisa Hannigan.

Which was covered by yet another Canadian (I think) Anna Scouten!

Now, Ms Scouten actually has a YouTube channel of her own, but unfortunately her original recording has this incessant beeping noise that detracts from her song. So I’ve posted a different video which was uploaded which has removed the annoying beeping. But the young lass has a few other covers that are worth the listen (First Day of My Life and Lovin’s For Fools are the best in my opinion). Now as for these two versions of I Don’t Know, while quite similar, I think Anna’s version captures the fun that is a little lacking in the original, which make her version work just that much more better.

And now comes Radioheads – Creep!

Which is then covered by Homeless Mustard

Okay the original has Johnny Depp in the music video, who is by far the coolest person living on this planet. But this homeless guys voice is just so raw and filled with emotion that it just adds a layer of depth to the song when he sings, that Radioheads singer’s clear tenor just cannot compete with, no matter what awesome person they stick into their videoclip.

Second to last! We come to the recently passed, Whitney Houston – I Have Nothing.

And covered by the winner of Australia’s Got Talent 2011 in his first audition Jack Vidgen.

Okay that kid is 14. Four. Teen. The fact that at 14 he can sing like  that unfortunately does trump Whitney. Sorry Americans.

And to finish off the list, we’re going full Australian!

We have the original Throw You Arms Around Me by the Hunters and Collectors.

Which is then covered by the comedic musical trio the Doug Anthony All Stars.

Okay, this version of throw your arms around me, trumps even Eddie Veders (of Pearl Jam fame for you youngsters out there, and if you don’t know Pearl Jam… I don’t think you’re old enough to read this blog) version. It is simply the BEST version of this song that has ever existed.

But fair warning, if you are easily offended, hell even if you have a moderate amount of tolerance (as opposed to a high tolerance aka being a sick twisted person) for extremely vulgar, black and bad taste humour. I would suggest that you NOT open up any other DAAS YouTube clips.

EVER.

Trust me.

Only us warped teenagers of the 90’s find that stuff funny 😉

Hello Saturday. Nerdgasm alert!


Just a quick one.

One of the bi-sexual lassies sent me this song. And frankly, I like it.

I mean whats not to like?

Star Trek reference in title, lyrics that contain the phrase “you make me feel like a porno star”, and its a good tune (Oh and for the upper Northern Hemispherites out there reading this… they’re Canadian! YAY!).

Enjoy fellow nerds! 🙂

 

 

Hello Finance Fridays – waxing philosophically


I will be getting an extra $760 in the next couple of weeks.

No, I have not been selling any organs on the black market. Nor have I been prostituting myself.

It’s bond money (I believe the term “security deposit” is what you guys use up in the Northern Hemisphere) from the previous apartment.

I’m having a raging internal debate about the money, and if you’ve read this post, you’ll know how weird those can be. The PF blogger in me wants to put ALL of it towards my debt. The suit aficionado says to blow it all on that grey three-piece. The gamer thinks I should blow it all on a new desktop (and more). The car hound thinks I should use it to start a fund to buy a car (which currently does not exist).  The idiot thinks a big night out of drinking.

I can tell you this, it’s not going to be the last one.

I’m actually leaning a lot toward flushing it all into my debt.

But the one thing stopping me, is an argument put forth by the idiot in me. It goes like this (and read the below in a  Beavis and Butthead voice [if any of you are old enough to remember Beavis and Butthead]):

Read the below in their voice...

“Uhh… dude. Like, when are you going to start having fun? I mean seriously. It’s not like you’re getting any younger… You’ve wasted, what, 18 months on paying off debt? And everything shows that you’re not going to be done till the end of this year. You’re letting the best years of your life pass you by, because you’re hell bent on doing something that 90% of people really don’t care about. So take the money and have fun. It only takes a month off your schedule, if you plug the money into your debt. Whats another month? Doooo ittttt! I am Cornholio!”

And it has hit on some truth’s there. I have and am sacrificing a helluva lot to get myself out of this hole I’ve dug. I’ve forsworn a lot of socialising, simply because I can’t afford it. I don’t even remember the last time I bought clothes that wasn’t work related. I don’t have a car. I haven’t bought any new pieces of furniture for the new place. I’ve cut down drastically on the little things, like snacks, eating out, weekly wines.

And now I have to ask myself the question is it worth it?

I mean, essentially yes, I am setting myself up for a better future. Less stress over money. Something I really should’ve started doing a decade ago.

But what if I die tomorrow? I doubt the last thing to go through my head will be “God, I wish I had paid off my debt sooner.”

Should I forego paying off my debt as speedily as possible, for the opportunity to enjoy life’s pleasures? Or do I hold off on life’s pleasure just that little bit longer so as I can have a debt free life more quickly?

I guess it’s the flip side of the credit card. Should  you use a credit card now for quick access to your wants and needs, only to have the headache of the purchase show up down the line in your monthly statement?

I know that a healthy balance, would probably be the best solution, but to me (and this is merely my personal view because of my personal circumstances. I actually applaud those that can seem to find that balance) that seems a solution where no one wins. I won’t be able to afford the things I really want in any sort of immediate time frame, and I will be living with debt hanging over my head for a significantly longer period of time. What’s the point of doing that???

So, like anyone who has created a blog, talked about his extremely weird thought-processes, inserted a pole-dancing rabbit gif into a post, and has confessed about his crotch being scalded by hot coffee, I’m putting it to a vote.

This will be a two-party system. Write-in candidates will not be accepted. There are only two choices:

a) Use the money to pay off debt

b) Use the money for fun stuff (for a relative value of “fun”)

Polls are open…..NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNow.

Hello. Help. Oh god will someone please help!


First few paragraphs are said in Rod Serling’s voice from the Twilight Zone… (click on the video below for a refresher, or you have no idea what I’m talking about)

Picture if you will a man. A man in a suit. A man looking really great in that suit. It’s three-piece and grey, with a crisp white shirt and a black tie. His shoes are also pretty awesome. Then you have his… wait I got sidetracked there…

*ahem*

Picture if you will a man. We’ve already established his awesomeness in suits, so we’ll skip that bit. He is an ordinary man, going about his ordinary life. But chance dictates otherwise. In this story he will be thrust into a different world. A world unlike our own. A world where the purchase of a $500 game console seems like a brilliant idea. Thus we enter… THE DEEPER IN DEBT ZONE… (doodedodo doodeedodo doodedoodoo – thats my rendition of the Twilight Zone theme, I know. So awesome.)

Okay back to the normal everyday Cap’n voice… Think Steve Urkel but with the ability to say “arvo” (that’s Oz slang for “afternoon” by the by… and if you’re really curious you pronounce it “AH-vo”).

I have succumb to temptation. Well not really. But I am very, very, very close to it. I have metaphorically dipped my finger on the icing of the cake, had a taste, found out that I liked it, and my face is now inches away from the sugary creamy buttocks of the aforementioned baked good.  And, a small amount of drool, inching its way cautiously towards the cake, aching for that first forbidden touch, completes the image.

After 4 years of resisting the urge to buy an X-Box and 3 years of resisting to buy a Playstation 3, I am on the brink of purchasing one or the other. Literally on the brink.

I blame the new room mate for this, as he has a PS3. And thus I have come to know what I’ve been missing all these years…

I have justified the spenditure in my budget (since I will be getting $720 back from my security deposit of my other apartment once the lease ends in January). I have shopped around for the best deal. (Target is selling them for $50 less than anywhere else). I have the website up and my credit card details on it, all I have to do is hit “Submit” and I will be $300 more in debt (but 1 Ps3 richer!).

I am also using the justification that buying a PS3 will actually save me money in the long run. Bear with me on this. Since I will be soooo deeply immersed in the fantabulousness of games that are out there, I will not be inclined to go out on pub-crawls or bar-hops (I initially had that as bra-hops* which curiously does apply, but would be in the way of TMI, so I deleted it) that is the main form of social bonding for any single male. And since I will be about as social as a troll living under a bridge, I will not be dating, nor will I have any prospects for dating, which everyone will agree is an expensive process, for both sexes.

See. It makes some sense.

So why haven’t I pressed that sublime looking “Submit” button? Even as I type this in another tab, I can hear its sublime siren call singing to me through the pixels of my computer screen. Aching for the touch of my cursor, wantonly thrusting itself out of the screen into my face.

So, why haven’t I pressed it??!?!!?

It is because of you people.  I know you’re there, judging me. Threatening me with disembowelment if I stray too far from the rigid structure of my budget. Discussing and planning covert missions to kidnap me and torture me in ways unimaginable if I go down this road. (I’m looking at you! You know who you are!)

So yes, fear of pain and death are the main reasons as to why I haven’t done this. I can all too easily picture you people sharpening you implements of sadisticness as you read this. A plague on both your houses!

But the other reason is that stupid little voice in my head, that is of course soooo much more sensible than I am, and is telling me to consider all the pro’s and con’s first before doing anything rash, then wait another week on top of that. God, I wanna kick his ass.

It’s the little voice that tells me to look both ways before crossing the street.

The little voice that tells me it would be a bad idea to stick metal cutlery into electrical sockets.

The little voice that tells me that one more shot of Jaegermeister hasn’t made me any more attractive.

The little voice that tells me to not sleep with the hot girl from accounts.

That stupid little voice.

*gets cotton tip and starts poking it in his ear*

HA! How do you like them apples?!?

Again in the Rod Sterling Voice

So here we come to the end of our story. Picture a man poking himself in the ear with a cotton bud as he mutters to himself. Picture a man in fear for his life. Picture a man who is one step away from sweet oblivion, where this one choice could lead to either happiness or despair. Picture this man straddling the boundaries of reality, of right and wrong. Picture this man one small step away from the… DEEPER IN DEBT ZONE! (doodedodo doodeedodo doodedoodoo)

*Edit: I do not mean I hop into bra’s myself per se. I know most of you got what I meant when I said that, but I know one person will start picturing me wearing bra’s. I want to make it clear that is not what I meant. So don’t try and picture it. I don’t want anyone going blind.