Monthly Archives: June 2012

Hello and greetings from Nerdvana


Ahoy muchachorino’s.

I have returned. Captain-er and Sweatpantsier than ever.

True story.

Let’s be honest the last few posts before I took that little break were a mite depressing. Gone were the shameful and ridiculous references to boobs, pole dancing rabbits, puppies and all other things awesome. Instead you were lambasted with self-pitying prose (badly written self-pitying prose I might add) and annoying complaints of my inability to string words into a sentence.

But to that I say “nooooooooooo!” smashes glass and model ships with his phaser I will not sacrifice this blog. We’ve made too many compromises already; too many retreats. Depression invades this space and we fall back. Depression takes over our entire world and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!”


Sorry about that I’ve been getting nerdier over the past couple of weeks and that quote basically reinforces that (special brownie points to the uber-nerd who can ntell me where that paraphrased quotes from, and we’re on the honour system here folks. No google cheating.)

As you probably have surmised my disappearance and my lack of meaningful post was due to a bout of depression. I really thought I had that whole issue licked, but I guess not. It took me a couple of weeks to realise that I had fallen into that trap again, but once I did, I drew on 10 years of managing depression to snap myself out it. And it worked, I’m not sure if it was merely acknowledging that I had depression again, or the weird and whacky ways I did to snap myself out of that funk, but snap I did.

This little Stella got his groove back (giggity) and ready to once again make your mind seem a little less crazy in comparison to mine.

Fer instance.

I mentioned that I’ve been nerding it up the past couple of weeks. That doesn’t even begin to cover it. I am now so far up the Nerd God’s butt I can see sunlight. My nerdhood has become so all mighty and powerful that frankly that might be the last nail in the coffin that holds the corpse of the hope that I will have intercourse with a female ever again. The aura of nerdity surrounds me like a miasma of girl repellant. I am now so nerdy that I actually believe that my virginity has been restored. That’s right folks, you heard right. I have been re-hymenated. 😉

Now what could I possibly have done to get so über-nerd? Simply, I bought an iPad. Pssshaw I hear you scoff, how is that nerdy? Well, because of the number of apps available, the cheapness of said apps and the ease of being able to search and download anything I want, I am now able to gloriously wallow in all the nerdiest of hobbies that I secretly love, behind a thin veneer of socially acceptable Apple geek hood.

Magic: The Gathering : deal me in

Dungeons & Dragons Character Sheet : roll the dice

Nerdcode: nerdgasm!

Star Trek PADD : make it so


And god there are so much more, the only thing really stopping me is not the time to actually search for more, because I’m too busy playing around with the ones I already have.


So if anyone has any more suggestions on how I can further nerdify and re-hymenate myself with iPad apps please feel free to do so!

Until next time muchachorino’s!



Hello, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

Closing Time…

Hey Folks,

Really not feeling the creative juices flowing.

I don’t seem to have any ideas to write about. And I’ve  alluded to the reasons why this might be the case, but never really said it out loud. I’m assuming it’s from the recent break-up. Don’t get me wrong I’m not crying into my bacon (hmmmmm bacon) in the morning wondering why no one loves me or anything stupidly emo like that. I’m doing all right, but other than music and money/debt, “girls” and my interactions with them make up a large part of this blog, and that part of my life I’m just really, really, really sick of thinking about. So, I’ve taken a step away from the dating world, and have found that my life is pretty boring without the stupid interactions I have with the opposite sex. And while I have female friends I think of them as dudes with boobs, and therefore my stupid interactions with them are well, less stupid and entertaining (to you), and filled with a lot of inside jokes (which you will not get without a ton of exposition).

So while I ponder how to write about the creation of the perfect tuna-bake in a way that won’t make you, the reader, want to commit suicide, I’m going to lay off the blogging for a bit. I can’t tell you how long, but it shouldn’t be more than a couple, maybe a few months. Maybe.

But I’ll be reading all your blogs, taking copious notes, checking it twice, finding out who’s naughty or nice. And then ordering the relevant slutty angel or devil Halloween costumes (in your specific size, cause you know I stalk people like that) for you to wear to the party celebrating my return to blogging!

Oh and that one special Mr T costume, for the person that deserves it the most.

Yes, you. I’m looking at you.

I pity the fool that reads this blog!

Hello… umm… err…ahhh… PUUUUDDDDIIIIINGGGGG!

That is all.

Hello writers block: day 19. Seriously I should just give up.

So still struggling with the mad lumbering beast that is writers block.

Today’s post will mainly consist of E-cards that I would like to send to a few bloggers I’ve come to stalk know since starting this blog.

was going to name the people I was going to address these E-cards to, but I’m not nearly drunk enough (cause it’s Tuesday 11am as I write this, if I was drunk now I’d either be fired, have quit or have found me a a sugar momma) to drunk e-card people on the internet

Maybe another day *grin*. For now, fellow bloggers, just guess which one you think is appropriate for you. 🙂

And clueless to the boundaries that society arbitrarily places on my interactions with other people. PS I like your boobs.

Aaahhh. I love your blog because you share your disastrous interactions with humanity that make my disastrous interactions with humanity seem less crazy. Thank you.

Yup. Until you realise damnit!

You know who you are. Stop it.

I seriously am. This is why I don’t comment on your blog. Much.

Cause you’re just as weird as I am. Love.

Cause that’s how we roll. You love it.

Cause you are *that* hot. If you don’t like it, well tough 🙂

Now you’re all wondering which one of you sent me nekkid pics! MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! Dance little puppets! Dance!

No. Really I am. Please re-follow me.

And here’s one for everyone! 🙂

Happy Tuesday folks!

Hello, I actually have something to write about! Huzzah!

Well actually I have two things.

But the other one is the source of my writers block, and is just sitting like a lump of hot lead in my brain. I really should put all of that into words, and that would most likely fix my writers block, but I just can’t get it out.

So, once again rather than facing the problem directly and living a life of happiness whilst riding unicorns and blowing fairy dust into peoples eyes. I’m going to ignore it in the hope that it will go away eventually. Yes I am being childish. And you smell like poo. 😛

Anyways, I got some award thingy, from the young MissFourEyes. I think the rules (the young Miss was a tad unclear about this bit) state that I have to write 7 things about myself which are either slightly embarrassing and/or awkward and then pass it on to 7 other bloggers.

1. I know all the words to Taylor Swift’s Love Song . Feel free to judge me.

2. I currently have man-crushes on Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Robert Downey Jr and Neil Patrick Harris. And no, I do not want to have sex with them, they just seem really, really cool.

3. Today I found another grey hair. It was a nose hair.

4. I have a single transverse palmar crease on both palms.

Like so…

That means either this, if you’re of the scientific bent or if you’re of the mystical bent this. Personally I think I got it cause I was holding on so tight to the umbilical/bungee cord when I was being pushed out of mom, that it left a mark. Hey, I like my sleep.

5. I spent most of my 20’s either being a criminal, being depressed or being destitute. There was a time I was all three!

6. My favourite TV Series of all time is Firefly. If you don’t know what that is, you’re not nerdy enough to be here. No seriously, get out. 🙂

7. I keep getting phone calls asking me if I want to move to America. They must be getting desperate.

I know I have to nominate 7 other blogs but screw it. It took me nearly 2 days to write the above claptrap, the thought of pounding my head for a further 48 hours, trying to come up with 7 bloggers is giving me the heebiejeebies.

I’ll get around to it! Quit naggin! 😛

Hello interview-day, errr why am I not all flustered and worried?

So for the first time in a couple of weeks I actually have something to write about (I will not however can promise that this post will be well written :P)


So, today I’m interviewing for the position I talked about here. Yes I applied, what the hell. And yup I got an interview. Usually I would be a bundle of nerves, since the interview will be taking place in 43 minutes (and yes instead of boning up on relevant legislation and regulations I am writing a blog post, THAT is how much I love you guys, or how amazing I am at procrastinating, one of them anyway ;)) But right now, meh. I know enough that I should be able to at least answer the questions, I get to have a copy of my application with me and I get a copy of the questions they will be asking, and will have 15 minutes to review and make notes.

How hard can it be? (famous last words, I know.. :P)

But then again I’m not all that fussed, since I’ve also spoken to my manager and despite the budget cuts which will be taking place, he has reassured me that my job is secure and I’ll be around for at least another year.

Maybe that’s why.

I don’t have the fire under me. I really don’t NEED to get this job. I’m not jobless, and there’s no prospect of me being jobless. While the 15% salary increase would be welcomed with open arms, it’s not completely necessary. Maybe that will make me perform better, less nerves, more confidence, who knows?

I’ll provide an update for you guys Monday on exactly how it went.

Wow. Even with something to talk about I can’t even get past the 500 word mark. *facepalm*


Wait breathe, breath… (chant’s in his head “Let’s go Matt, lets go!”)

All good.

So as an apology for the horrendous writing in this post, here’s a drawing I was going to put up in another post, but only figured out how to do it now…

I’m not too sure why I was going to post this… something to do with being all artsy fartsy and creative I think… *shrugz*