Hello blogging. I’ve learnt a few things from you, this one is #56


Blogging Rule #56: Never put the word “boobs” in the title of your post. And god forbid you put it in there twice.

The post I’m talking about is this one. It discusses all the afflictions I carried when I stopped going to the gym.

That post is a little over 2 weeks old.

It is now the 2nd most viewed entry in this entire blog, because when people search for “boobs” in Google Image Search, they somehow come to my little corner of the internet. And I have no idea how! I tried this myself (and oh it was such a chore! *KA-BOOM* Hmmmmm, my sarcasm button just exploded for some reason), and after 12 pages I still couldn’t find the photo that I used. There is a similar photo on page 2, but its one of them demotivational posters. Mine is not. So that means these people have scrolled through at least 12 pages of boob pictures to get to the photo I used. And it’s not like they’re searching for “man-boob” (which would make more sense for Google to send them to that particular post) but nope, it’s just “boob”.

Twelve pages!

I was finished halfway through page one! (ifyaknowwhatimean 😛 ba-doom-ching)

In about another 6 weeks I’d say it will be the most viewed, surpassing the entry that was Freshly Pressed.

Which goes to show there are a lot of horny people in the world (actually they’re mostly American’s according to the stats page *grin* you bunch of sick puppies you *hugs*!)

But I feel kinda bad.

I mean all those voyeurs out there (brothers! sisters! otherers!) are on their computers, looking for a pair of one of the universes most glorious creations, and what does Google do in all of its omnipotent power? It takes them to my blog.

Ouch.

That’s like when you drop your wasabi coated peanut on the floor of a movie theatre and then picking it up, (following the 5 second rule of course) and popping it in your mouth to find that it is not your wasabi coated peanut but the detached testicle of a leprosy ridden, gonorrhoea  infected, chlamydia infested, pus ridden warthog (who has chosen the quieter winter months to fly to Australia and have a bit of a holiday, as warthogs do).

So, in order to redress this oh so terrible faux pas on my part, and to stem the tide of angry perverts who may choose to disembowel me for wasting precious bandwidth and seconds of their porn browsing time, I am going to give them boobies.

Five million, three hundred and eighteen thousand and eight to be exact.

So keep scrolling fellow perves! For a vast smorgasbord awaits! A cornucopia even!

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5,318,008 upside down = ( . )( . ) *grin*

Ain’t I a stinker? 😉

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11 responses to “Hello blogging. I’ve learnt a few things from you, this one is #56

  1. I had the same thing happen when I used the character name, Dr. Holly Martin, in a post. I too tried to Google it and I didn’t come up w/ my blog. But I was not willing to search that deeply. I kinda feel like I should post a long blog totally devoted to that one character and her sad, pointless, death.

    • I know, its strange. I mean if we can’t find it how are other people finding it on Google? How much time does one person have to have to go through all of these entries and find out little corner of the woods?

  2. If I type “Boobies” in the reply will that bring more pervs to your blog?

    😉

  3. So boobs, boobies, and more boobs. I like the calculator move. Nice touch.

  4. Shane Peltzer

    I once found the best picture of a kitten during my search for porn, so I guess it really all depends on if the final result is what most guys are after or if they are willing to accept other great things they find along the way as icing on the cake. I really like your blog and I didn’t even have to search for “boobs” to find it lol.

  5. Lol……….. The world is a sadly happy place.

  6. I remember writing “hell” on the calculator, but never that word. Nice!

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