Hello, I’m wearing nothing but boxers as I write this, and a couple of other things I’m sure you’d rather not know. P.S. if you are easily insulted stop reading … now. I said stop.


Yup.

There’s nothing between you and me, but a thin slice of cotton-ish material, my monitor, the cable that connects that monitor to the desktop, the couple of metres between the desktop and the wireless router, the thousands of miles of data cabling and computers that make up the internet, the firewalls of your internet service provider, the cables that connect your internet service providers system to the wireless connection nodes, the variable distance between that connection node and your own wireless router, the virus protection program you use, and the hard plastic covering of your laptop.

Yeah, baby!

Do I? Do I Rhaaaeeeaaalllayy?

Kinky I know, but that’s what you get for subscribing 😛

Crap, I forgot about the keyboard.

Oh well.

Today is first day of the Easter long weekend down here in Australia. Which means of course it’s a public holiday (which is the reason I’ve only been wearing boxers the whole day). Monday is also a public holiday so that means it’s a 4 day weekend! WOO!

Now for a historical lesson. The reason we have Easter Eggs is because traditionally in Roman times, they were thrown into the octagonal cage to the fighting gladiators, for the fans to show their support, and also to give them something to nibble on between rounds. Why chocolate eggs and not normal eggs? Well that’s because the Roman’s thought that “egg” came before the “chicken” and was therefore not to be eaten, since if you eat all the eggs, where would chickens come from? So Caesar Colonel Sanders (the guy on the bucket), forbade the eating of real eggs and then found the semi-religious order of the Kentucky Fried Chickeners, which was charged with the cooking of chickens with 11 different types of herbs and spices, and eating them. Which resulted in the chicken becoming extinct in most of mainland Europe, which is why the French eat frogs and snails instead. But why an Easter “Bunny”? Well that’s because when all the chickens died out in Europe, the Romans (being the clever people that they were) used rabbits to incubate the eggs. But where did the eggs come from if all the chickens had died out?? Well, duh, time travel of course, which was perfected by eminent Roman natural philosopher Martynius McFlyus. Seriously what do they teach you kids in school these days??

The reasons chickens hatched, and maybe also why they crossed the road.

True story.

😛

Now due to the long weekend (because it’s Easter – see above), I’ve had the apartment all to myself because the flatmate is interstate, whilst I’m only going back to Sydney to visit the parentals tomorrow morning.

So this morning, me and Vera had our very first turn-the-amp-all-the-way-to-11 session! If my neighbours are reading this, I am so very, very sorry.

I think I wrote somewhere in one of the comments (apologies, I forget which one) that I was learning Use Somebody – Kings of Leon.

Not the whole song of course, but just the melody bit.

I finally got the strumming pattern down, and while what’s coming out of Vera is not yet what you would call a “rendition” or an “interpretation” hell I wouldn’t even call it “something-my-3-year-old-niece-did-and-its-cute-in-that-kid-has-no-idea-what-she’s-doing” kind-of-way, but I can actually hear the song there, struggling to escape from my sausage fingered fretting. So perseverance! After a couple more hours, I’m finally getting my fingers in the right positions when playing C chord that the top E and G strings aren’t muffled by the pads of my fingers, at least 50% of the time. I’m still struggling with F, but I’ll get there.

Eventually 🙂

Now…. for the fallout…

So…. with this post I’ve either insulted or alienated the following:

– people who don’t like quasi-naked guys talking to them over the internet

– people who dislike it when other people ignore keyboards

– anyone who likes chocolate

– the Romans

– Colonel Sanders and his descendants

– people who work/used to work/contemplating working for KFC

– all of mainland Europe

– But mostly the French

– the producers and directors of the Back 2 the Future Trilogy

– Alex P. Keaton (a.k.a. Michael J. Fox)

– Michael J. Fox (again) for referring to him as a TV character that is 20 years old rather than to any of a number of great characters he’s played since then.

– My next door neighbours

– Fans of Kings of Leon

– Kings of Leon themselves

– and my 3-year old niece

If you don’t fall under any of those categories please leave a comment below, as to exactly what you would like me to say to alienate you, and I shall endeavour to include it into a following post. 🙂

So, see you all in a couple of days and have a Happy Easter everyo-

Oh wait, if you don’t celebrate Easter, happy long weeke-

Oh wait, if you’re not having a long weekend, happy Frid-

Oh wait, it’s not Friday yet for some of you… GAH!

Screw it.

Happy May-you-have-great-sex-at some-point-in-the-near-future-if-you-wish-to-have-it-and-if you-do-not-wish-to-have-it-may-you-participate-in-some-other-activity-that-brings-you-joy-also-within-the-near-future Day!

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21 responses to “Hello, I’m wearing nothing but boxers as I write this, and a couple of other things I’m sure you’d rather not know. P.S. if you are easily insulted stop reading … now. I said stop.

  1. Interesting story about the history of Easter. I bet there’s lots of scientific literature to back it up (^_-)

    • Plenty! Although you may have to have some form of food poisoning or excessive doses of alcohol to access the information. Don’t worry though the pink elephant with then purple polka dots librarian is extremely helpful.

  2. A history lesson, a bit non-PG13 and music all in a single blog? Congrats, I salute you. It is a long holiday here in the UK too. Have a great weekend!

  3. You are my favourite blogging follower.
    You are my only blogging follower.
    But your my favourite and that counts heaps!
    I’m in Melbourne. But I wore… a dress. and underwear …dude!~ ewwwwww

    • Really I’m the only one??? But you write so well?!?!?! I mean theirs poignancy in every one of your posts (that I read anyways) that I wish I could do, but I tend to always fall back on humour and sarcasm, which has its place I’m told, but there are times when I’ve had to NOT write about a subject because I did feel strongly about it, and didn’t want to end up getting all flippant about it. But you’ve inspired me a little, a serious post may be on the wings…

      Primary school while TMNT was in its hey day?? You must be around MY generation! 🙂 I was always partial to Donatello myself.

      • Antiheroine

        Seriously, there are so many blogs out there and I rarely find anything I truly want to read. I want to read yours. I’ll read more asap. I think humour and sarcasm are good tools themselves. I was having a discussion with two strangers at the poetry jam gig I went to, and one said he could’nt stand the seriousness of some poetry, and the hardline politics. People like that will take nothing away and need to be targeted differently. And also, sometimes we just need comic relief to liven up our shitty lives. Donatello was my second fave.

  4. As a young, blonde, American female with a liberal arts degree and a non-liberal arts job, I feel insulted that you couldn’t come up with a way to include me in the offensive onslaught. I mean, seriously man, that’s four or five (or more if you use that noggin) areas of stereotype rich fodder for libel.

    • LOL! Okay I REALLY wasn’t going to come back here and reply to any more comments until Monday, but YOUR comment Ezra,just HAD to be addressed. I counted 6 easily stereotypable ways with which I could include you into that list… but I’m going to go for the one that’s of course going to land me in the most trouble… “female”

      So just for you Ez… 🙂 (cause she can take a joke going by her comment, if you CAN’T take a joke… well enjoy this as well!)

      Women are good for 70 things. Sammiches and 69.

  5. I don’t like chicken, I’m in my jammies, Colonel Sanders has a funny beard, I don’t like chocolate (well, milk chocolate), Kings of Leon and MJFox are meh, Romans are meh, I’m American so of course insulting the rest of the planet is expected of us, and keyboard ingnore-age isn’t a deal breaker either. Attempting to play a geee-tar is commendable and writing entertaining blogs that help me wake-up whilst I sip my coffee is another plus.
    So, how would you offend me… hmm… *think think think*…Can I get back to you on that one?

    • Oh trust me I have a multitude of annoying habits. One of which was pointed out for me by my office buddy. Apparently I have a tendency to go on all fours on top of my desk if I am provided with the slightest excuse… I never really noticed it myself, but she said she’ll chatting over her shoulder at me thinking she’s having a normal conversation, turns around and it turns out she’s been talking to my butt for five minutes while I fiddle around with the cables at the back. Again, that’s one of a multitude. *grin*

  6. I’m envious. In the U.S., we don’t get a long weekend. Religious holidays don’t count. We only get Federal Holidays. And not all of them either. And don’t ask me why Christmas is a Federal Holiday and Easter is not. I don’t know why. It is one of the mysteries of the universe.

  7. I only have on boxers when I am at home lol, unless I have guests(and not the regulars). All most all of my post and comments were written in boxers only. So no offence taken. It’s the Caribbean, it’s hot all year round. It also saves me on some laundry.

    Anyways, enough with me blabbering about crap, I’m sure a had a real point to this comment….

    Oh yea…. Did you make up that easter story?

    And yea! for three 4 day weekends.

  8. Oh please please please write more history stories. This one was fantastic.

  9. I liked the way you held your stomach in for 3 seconds then exhaled. Excellent exercise program. All while playing the guitar, you are a legend. We can see through the curtains!
    So let me get this straight, when you cross a bunny with a chicken you get a chocolate egg? My history was never that good. I’m learning so much, I like the way you dumb it down for us. Histroy is so much fun. 🙂
    Lots of love, the neighbours xx
    P.S. Tune the E string, or we’ll be over to make adjustments!
    As a critique, not going too badly, but I’ve only heard the melody 60 times today.

  10. oh a lesson I learned instead, thought it was something dirty lol

  11. This.. made… my.. day 😀

  12. I fall into the “anyone who likes chocolate” category.

    ::head shaking at you…not with you::

  13. Shane Peltzer

    Nice! – I really appreciate your raw honesty and your humor in your writing is very entertaining. I hope all is well with you and I definitely look forward to reading more of your blog! PS thanks for following my blog, I like followers, but I don’t expect them so it’s always a nice surpise. PPS: I don’t think I’ve ever blogged in my underwear, I’m always fully dressed when I blog lol.

    • Hahahaha… but it gets really really really hot here in the summer-time (I know that’s really no excuse, and actually probably no excuse that I actually told everyone about it. Oh well) *grin*

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