There’s nothing between you and me, but a thin slice of cotton-ish material, my monitor, the cable that connects that monitor to the desktop, the couple of metres between the desktop and the wireless router, the thousands of miles of data cabling and computers that make up the internet, the firewalls of your internet service provider, the cables that connect your internet service providers system to the wireless connection nodes, the variable distance between that connection node and your own wireless router, the virus protection program you use, and the hard plastic covering of your laptop.
Kinky I know, but that’s what you get for subscribing 😛
Crap, I forgot about the keyboard.
Today is first day of the Easter long weekend down here in Australia. Which means of course it’s a public holiday (which is the reason I’ve only been wearing boxers the whole day). Monday is also a public holiday so that means it’s a 4 day weekend! WOO!
Now for a historical lesson. The reason we have Easter Eggs is because traditionally in Roman times, they were thrown into the octagonal cage to the fighting gladiators, for the fans to show their support, and also to give them something to nibble on between rounds. Why chocolate eggs and not normal eggs? Well that’s because the Roman’s thought that “egg” came before the “chicken” and was therefore not to be eaten, since if you eat all the eggs, where would chickens come from? So Caesar Colonel Sanders (the guy on the bucket), forbade the eating of real eggs and then found the semi-religious order of the Kentucky Fried Chickeners, which was charged with the cooking of chickens with 11 different types of herbs and spices, and eating them. Which resulted in the chicken becoming extinct in most of mainland Europe, which is why the French eat frogs and snails instead. But why an Easter “Bunny”? Well that’s because when all the chickens died out in Europe, the Romans (being the clever people that they were) used rabbits to incubate the eggs. But where did the eggs come from if all the chickens had died out?? Well, duh, time travel of course, which was perfected by eminent Roman natural philosopher Martynius McFlyus. Seriously what do they teach you kids in school these days??
Now due to the long weekend (because it’s Easter – see above), I’ve had the apartment all to myself because the flatmate is interstate, whilst I’m only going back to Sydney to visit the parentals tomorrow morning.
So this morning, me and Vera had our very first turn-the-amp-all-the-way-to-11 session! If my neighbours are reading this, I am so very, very sorry.
I think I wrote somewhere in one of the comments (apologies, I forget which one) that I was learning Use Somebody – Kings of Leon.
Not the whole song of course, but just the melody bit.
I finally got the strumming pattern down, and while what’s coming out of Vera is not yet what you would call a “rendition” or an “interpretation” hell I wouldn’t even call it “something-my-3-year-old-niece-did-and-its-cute-in-that-kid-has-no-idea-what-she’s-doing” kind-of-way, but I can actually hear the song there, struggling to escape from my sausage fingered fretting. So perseverance! After a couple more hours, I’m finally getting my fingers in the right positions when playing C chord that the top E and G strings aren’t muffled by the pads of my fingers, at least 50% of the time. I’m still struggling with F, but I’ll get there.
Now…. for the fallout…
So…. with this post I’ve either insulted or alienated the following:
– people who don’t like quasi-naked guys talking to them over the internet
– people who dislike it when other people ignore keyboards
– anyone who likes chocolate
– the Romans
– Colonel Sanders and his descendants
– people who work/used to work/contemplating working for KFC
– all of mainland Europe
– But mostly the French
– the producers and directors of the Back 2 the Future Trilogy
– Alex P. Keaton (a.k.a. Michael J. Fox)
– Michael J. Fox (again) for referring to him as a TV character that is 20 years old rather than to any of a number of great characters he’s played since then.
– My next door neighbours
– Fans of Kings of Leon
– Kings of Leon themselves
– and my 3-year old niece
If you don’t fall under any of those categories please leave a comment below, as to exactly what you would like me to say to alienate you, and I shall endeavour to include it into a following post. 🙂
So, see you all in a couple of days and have a Happy Easter everyo-
Oh wait, if you don’t celebrate Easter, happy long weeke-
Oh wait, if you’re not having a long weekend, happy Frid-
Oh wait, it’s not Friday yet for some of you… GAH!
Happy May-you-have-great-sex-at some-point-in-the-near-future-if-you-wish-to-have-it-and-if you-do-not-wish-to-have-it-may-you-participate-in-some-other-activity-that-brings-you-joy-also-within-the-near-future Day!