Picture this, it’s a lazy Wednesday afternoon, it’s 4:45PM. I’ve done all my work for the day. So I check my stats page to see how I’m going for the day.
Not bad, about average for my little blog. I’m content.
I talk to a colleague of mine about some minor contract things. Couldn’t have taken more than 2 – 3 minutes tops.
I check back on my stats page and hit the refresh button.
Errr. Okay, a little odd, but there aren’t any new comments or new “like” notifications. So I just assume someones discovered my blog after having googled “hot girls in sweatpants” (which was the number one search term for this blog. Don’t ask me why.) and decided despite the lack of hot girls in sweatpants that they liked the cut of my jib and stalked my past posts.
So I leave the office, get home, play around with Vera for a little while. Decide that I should check my email in case the penis enlargement spam gets lonely and wants to join his friends over at the
I-wonder-if-these-work trash folder.
123 new emails. All from WordPress.
I checked my stats.
First thought – Oh crap what have I done?
Second thought – Who are all these people?
Third thought – I should have that left over pizza for breakfast tomorrow.
Fourth Thought – No. Freaking. Way.
And there it was, received at 5:17PM “your post https://indebtfatshortbadteeth.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/hello-music-where-have-you-been-all-my-life/ has been promoted to Freshly Pressed on the WordPress.com home page.”
So first I did this.
Then I went “Eep.”
Don’t get me wrong I am totally and out out of this world grateful/humbled/ecstatic/overjoyed that a person I don’t know in a tweed jacket and pipe has looked at my post and gone “Fwah, Fwah, Fwah, Heyyyynnngghhh Sheeeee!” and granted approval for a post of mine, and a lot of people agree with said person. 😛
Wait! That was sarcasm! Please, don’t take this away from me! It’s all I have! My life will be a meaningless shell of itself without this! I desperately require the approval of others! Damnit that was sarcasm too! Shut up mouth before you get us into trouble!
Where was I?
This is it, I’ve reached the pinnacle of WordPresshood. No matter what I do now I will never ever have this heady high of seeing my stats jump 50 – 100 – 250 hits every few minutes.
I’ll never have a gajillion (yup you heard me GA-jillion) people liking my posts.
I’ll never have a bazillion (that’s a bit less than a gajillion for you non-math people out there) comments coming up, with my OCD against leaving comments unreplied hammering at the walls of my brain to reply to them all (shut up OCD part of my brain, I’ll get to replying to everyone! Now pipe down or I’ll start poking you with q-tips again!).
I’ll never have a whole new slew of followers to randomly annoy with posts with little or no editing, punctuation, excessive use of caps and exclamation marks and then written in text speak. kinda lyk THIS GAWD I CN B SOOOOOO ANoYIn!!!!! (Nahhh I wouldn’t do that to you people… or would I??? *shifty eyes*)
So there is only really one way to move forward from getting Freshly Pressed. I am going to pretend it never happened. There won’t be a special page made or anything like that, I’ll try not to mention it either… umm… err… after this post *facepalm at self* Okay THIS post mentions it, but I had to acknowledge it didn’t I?
So first of all thanks to the WordPress person who picked up the post. *waves at faceless unknowable all powerful Oz*
Thanks to all the people who liked and commented! I shall endeavour to reply to all comments (Happy OCD part of my brain? Release some endorphin’s now plea- aaahhhhhhhh – that’s the stuff.)
Thanks to all the new people who have subscribed, I’ll come by and subscribe to you as soon as possible. (Oh hello newbies! MUAHAHAHAHAHA… let the hazing commence! PF’ers hold them down… Others… get the paddles!)
But most of all thanks to the people who have been reading this blog before all this hullabulloo and will (hopefully) still be around after it’s all long forgotten (don’t leave me! *sobbing as I clutch onto your legs* ;))
They fall into two groups…
Firstly the Personal Finance peeps. Blonde, Vodka, MutantS, HH, Bike, Raf, Andrea, Cas, Broke, Boo, Nikster, Kevo and Pretty (Pretty, yes I know you’re fairly new but since your blog is my blogs wingblog in terms of sluttiness you HAD to be added *grin*). You girls and guys are really the only reason this little blog of mine has survived for this long, and I know I don’t comment as much as I should (and you know, now that I’m a blogging superstar *brushes dirt off shoulders*, I’ll just get my people to call your people *grin* Oh c’mon! You’ve been following this blog long enough! You know I’m kidding… mostly ;)) but know that I do stalk all your blogs regularly, and your comments always brings a smile to my face. And if I’ve forgotten anyone I’m very very sorry! I usually keep track of you guys via comments… but ummm… yeah… that’s not working quite as well now…
Then there’s the the Others…
Oh god the Others :). The ones who I discovered after realising there’s only so many ways I could write about money (cause you know, me = hamster on meth), before I wanted to spend all mine just so I could be done with it. The ones who make me laugh, the ones who make me think, and the ones who make me appreciate. There’s a couple here I’ve only stalked and never commented on, so to those bloggers, umm yeah, you’ve been outed as being interesting by little ol’ me. Sorry! Carlz, NotFamous, Tenz, Thoughts, Max and of course the Tara’s. Again if I’ve forgotten anyone, as above.
So thanks guys!
Okay enough mushy stuff… and now for what you’ve all really come here for… hard-core, un-censored full frontal nudity!… *bow-chicka-wah-wah*
Welcome to my blog! Come for the false advertising of nudity… stay for the puppies 🙂