Hello stats page… lets take a lo- *ka-boom!*


Picture this, it’s a lazy Wednesday afternoon, it’s 4:45PM. I’ve done all my work for the day. So I check my stats page to see how I’m going for the day.

98 hits.

Not bad, about average for my little blog. I’m content.

I talk to a colleague of mine about some minor contract things. Couldn’t have taken more than 2 – 3 minutes tops.

I check back on my stats page and hit the refresh button.

150 hits.

Errr. Okay, a little odd, but there aren’t any new comments or new “like” notifications. So I just assume someones discovered my blog after having googled “hot girls in sweatpants” (which was the number one search term for this blog. Don’t ask me why.) and decided despite the lack of hot girls in sweatpants that they liked the cut of my jib and stalked my past posts.

So I leave the office, get home, play around with Vera for a little while. Decide that I should check my email in case the penis enlargement spam gets lonely and wants to join his friends over at the I-wonder-if-these-work trash folder.

123 new emails. All from WordPress.

I checked my stats.

634 hits.

First thought – Oh crap what have I done?

Second thought – Who are all these people?

Third thought – I should have that left over pizza for breakfast tomorrow.

Fourth Thought – No. Freaking. Way.

And there it was, received at 5:17PM “your post https://indebtfatshortbadteeth.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/hello-music-where-have-you-been-all-my-life/ has been promoted to Freshly Pressed on the WordPress.com home page.”

So first I did this.

Yup. Just like that...

Then I went “Eep.”

Don’t get me wrong I am totally and out out of this world grateful/humbled/ecstatic/overjoyed that a person I don’t know in a tweed jacket and pipe has looked at my post and gone “Fwah, Fwah, Fwah, Heyyyynnngghhh Sheeeee!” and granted approval for a post of mine, and a lot of people agree  with said person. 😛

Wait! That was sarcasm! Please, don’t take this away from me! It’s all I have! My life will be a meaningless shell of itself without this! I desperately require the approval of others! Damnit that was sarcasm too! Shut up mouth before you get us into trouble!

Science really needs to get onto this...

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

“Eep.”

This is it, I’ve reached the pinnacle of WordPresshood. No matter what I do now I will never ever have this heady high of seeing my stats jump 50 – 100 – 250  hits every few minutes.

I’ll never have a gajillion (yup you heard me GA-jillion) people liking my posts.

I’ll never have a bazillion (that’s a bit less than a gajillion for you non-math people out there) comments coming up, with my OCD against leaving comments unreplied hammering at the walls of my brain to reply to them all (shut up OCD part of my brain, I’ll get to replying to everyone! Now pipe down or I’ll start poking you with q-tips again!).

I’ll never have a whole new slew of followers to randomly annoy with posts with little or no editing, punctuation, excessive use of caps and exclamation marks and then written in text speak. kinda lyk THIS GAWD I CN  B SOOOOOO ANoYIn!!!!! (Nahhh I wouldn’t do that to you people… or would I??? *shifty eyes*)

Never again…

*sigh*

So there is only really one way to move forward from getting Freshly Pressed. I am going to pretend it never happened. There won’t be a special page made or anything like that, I’ll try not to mention it either… umm… err… after this post *facepalm at self* Okay THIS post mentions it, but I had to acknowledge it didn’t I?

So first of all thanks to the WordPress person who picked up the post. *waves at faceless unknowable all powerful Oz*

Thanks to all the people who liked and commented! I shall endeavour to reply to all comments (Happy OCD part of my brain? Release some endorphin’s now plea- aaahhhhhhhh – that’s the stuff.)

Thanks to all the new people who have subscribed, I’ll come by and subscribe to you as soon as possible. (Oh hello newbies! MUAHAHAHAHAHA… let the hazing commence! PF’ers hold them down… Others… get the paddles!)

But most of all thanks to the people who have been reading this blog before all this hullabulloo and will (hopefully) still be around after it’s all long forgotten (don’t leave me! *sobbing as I clutch onto your legs* ;))

They fall into two groups…

Firstly the Personal Finance peeps. Blonde, Vodka, MutantS, HH, Bike, Raf, Andrea, Cas, Broke, Boo, NiksterKevo and Pretty (Pretty, yes I know you’re fairly new but since your blog is my blogs wingblog in terms of sluttiness you HAD to be added *grin*). You girls and guys are really the only reason this little blog of mine has survived for this long, and I know I don’t comment as much as I should (and you know, now that I’m a blogging superstar *brushes dirt off shoulders*, I’ll just get my people to call your people *grin* Oh c’mon! You’ve been following this blog long enough! You know I’m kidding… mostly ;)) but know that I do stalk all your blogs regularly, and your comments always brings a smile to my face. And if I’ve forgotten anyone I’m very very sorry! I usually keep track of you guys via comments… but ummm… yeah… that’s not working quite as well now…

Then there’s the the Others…

Oh god the Others :). The ones who I discovered after realising there’s only so many ways I could write about money (cause you know, me = hamster on meth), before I wanted to spend all mine just so I could be done with it. The ones who make me laugh, the ones who make me think, and the ones who make me appreciate. There’s a couple here I’ve only stalked and never commented on, so to those bloggers, umm yeah, you’ve been outed as being interesting by little ol’ me. Sorry! Carlz, NotFamous, Tenz, Thoughts, Max and of course the Tara’s. Again if I’ve forgotten anyone, as above.

So thanks guys!

Okay enough mushy stuff… and now for what you’ve all really come here for… hard-core, un-censored full frontal nudity!… *bow-chicka-wah-wah*

Do you realise how fast you were scrolling just then???

Welcome to my blog!  Come for the false advertising of nudity… stay for the puppies 🙂

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23 responses to “Hello stats page… lets take a lo- *ka-boom!*

  1. you are ridiculous…and i mean that in the best way possible. 🙂

  2. Congrats!! Getting featured on a big site and seeing your traffic spike is always an awesome feeling.

    And I second heifer who says you are ridiculous 😉 in a good way of course

    • Thanks Bridge!

      I’ll also accept “strange” “weird on so many levels” and “nucking futter” as compliments.

      Compliments such as “you’re taller than you look” and “have you lost weight” will be viewed as LIES! LIES! ALL LIES!

      *grin*

  3. That’s entirely too awesome!!! I was grinning ear to ear as soon as I read that you were Freshly Pressed! I’m doing a little post yoga pizza eating dance for you, congratulations Captain Sweatpants! (And mega thanks for the link love!)

    • Awww thanks Cas!

      Hmmm Pizza, damn I didnt have those for breakfast… oh well pizza for dinner it is then!

      Pfft, link love was the least I could do, thank YOU for sticking around and commenting. 🙂

  4. Congrats on your freshly pressed! I like your posts.

  5. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! =)

  6. Being a slut has never paid off some much! Okay serious moment, thank you so so so so much for the shout out! You made my Friusday, because it’s Friday for me and Thursday for the rest of this continent. I am unbelievable in awe and ecstatically honored! You rock! Being a wingman has never been so easy. I’m so happy you got recognized because you deserve it! Keep doing what you do so well. Cheers!

  7. springfieldfem

    I saw that yesterday! Good for you! 🙂

  8. Pingback: I Didnt Even Have a Speech Ready « I'm Pretty….

  9. Congrats on the feature (^_^) That doesn’t happen everyday. Oh and good luck with your debt. I use to be swamped in student debt myself. Patience and good spending habits is all you need.

  10. Great post … you’re adorable! The puppies are cute, too.

  11. Karma is a bitch. Fame is one too. Get over it and just go with it.

    IMHO, please try to check out that RockSmith game. The US version of song list includes “Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon. (No lie.) Hopefully, it is on the Australian version too. http://rocksmith.ubi.com/rocksmith/en-us/tracklist/index.aspx

    The other thing you should be aware of if you are not already is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5QCs3PnQBc
    Stay away from bassist (or latent bassist) tendencies.

  12. I will go down with this ship captain. You bring me entertainment with each and every post. You also teach me how to spell words like gajillion and hullabulloo lol.

    Congrats on the recognition, it was only a matter of time.

    And thanks for the shout out. Always grateful for recognition by superstar bloggers like yourself.

  13. Aw that was a totally cute sweet shout-out. Thank you 🙂 And congrats. I am SUPER happy for you and I actually did my own little dance when I saw you on Fresh. I like it when my peeps get props.

  14. much love right back at you! congratulations on the celebrity status – so well deserved! you are hilarious and we love reading you! you’re also one of the top few ‘click throughs’ from our little blog 🙂 here’s to plenty more awesome in the future!

  15. The Happy Homeowner

    I’m late to the party (as usual), but dude, congrats!!! Amazing work!

    Thanks for the link lovin’ too…makes a scorned bambino so happy (read my new post to know why I’m questioning the will to blog anymore).

    Love the celebration dance, too 😀

  16. Awww, congrats on getting freshly pressed! woohoo!

  17. Congrats! I didn’t realize you were Freshly Pressed. Good thing I’m finally making my way through all of my blog notification emails, even if half of them are a month old.

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