First some housekeeping. Apologies for the total lack of posts recently, and also the quality of the posts. I know they’ve been lacking the normal effervescent I-don’t-know-what, you’ve come to expect and demand from this blog. Apparently when you get viral meningitis, you have the post-viral effects to look forward to, which is pretty much the same symptoms as the original, but this time you have no time frame with which to hope for relief.
But, 2 doctors, 1 morphine based drug later, a neurologist, 2 beta blockers, and $1000 later… I am all better.
And to welcome myself back, I’m going to answer a few questions asked by fellow blogger, and someone who’s much prettier and funnier than me Curly Carly! (and seriously Carly… this is what the 5th? 6th? time I’ve referenced you in my blog? We’re going to have to have a chat about the advertising fees ;))
1. Why won’t Christina Aguilera just cover it up already?
As I’m in Australia, we are thankfully cushioned by geography from much of the excesses of a lot of the USA’s pop culture shenanigans. That and I don’t think I’ve watched television in about 6 months, so I’m not even sure what you mean when you’re asking Christina to cover it up… did she get naked?
2. If Dirk Nowitzki asked you to play him in a game of basketball, would you jump at the chance or decline to prevent eventual humiliation?
Errr…who? Sorry the last time I watched an NBA game, Jordan was still about.
3. Do you think dogs know the difference between male and female humans?
I would say yes. I mean dogs see with their nose right? Like their sense of smell is their primary way they perceive the world. Now even I can tell that any woman smells nicer than I do (and seriously I’ve lived with girlfriends, shared the same soap, same shampoo, same food, same everything. But even on a lazy winter Sunday, when I haven’t done anything that would work up a slight bit of sweat, except lay on the couch as a cushion to be used by the girlfriend, I still smell like a dead, wet dog compared to her. How do you do it females??? HOW?!?!?) so it would be safe to assume women to dogs smell like a Chanel No. 5, covered in lavender, and smothered in honey and chocolate two legged mistress, while us men, to dogs, would smell like a sweaty, corn-chip factory worker, who has tried to cover the smell with liberal amounts of deodorant.
3. If everyone in the world agreed to shave their heads, would you be happy or upset that you would be expected to do the same?
Errr… I’m a boy, we really don’t have an emotional attachment to our hair, unless we’re going bald, then we do. But as a bloke, if you know your hair will grow back, doesn’t really matter what you do with it, it’s when it we realise that as we’re losing it that it will never grow back ever again, is when we start crying.
4. Are you getting enough fiber? Are you??
Good god no. I’m apparently according to a younger acquaintance, 2 years off the beginning of middle age (which apparently begins at 35 and ends at around 45). If I started worrying about fibre intake, it would be a small slippery slope into worrying about my cholesterol, then salt, liver, kidneys… ugh.
5. Do you feel that your own sex or the opposite sex has more advantages in our day and age?
Not really, especially in this day and age. I think it’s pretty equal. Oh sure women are increasingly becoming more independent, powerful. Women still have the casting vote as to whether or not to enter into a relationship. Women have banded together in recent years to support each other across every sort of social media possible. But as a man, the world is my urinal.
6. If the world voted to deem weeds as “beautiful,” like flowers and trees, would you be happy or upset?
Wouldn’t really care. I’ve seen fields of dandelions that have been magical, and perfectly manicured gardens that have left me cold. But I do like a well-kept lawn. Beauty is just how you see things really.
7. If Facebook and Twitter suddenly went away, how would this impact you? In other words, how engrained or ungrained are they in your life? Would you suddenly have very few friends, or the exact same number as before?
I would be pretty much the same. Most of my friends are from real life. I barely talk to anyone via twitter. I have a few acquaintances on-line, but I don’t really count people as friends until I have their mobile number and I have gotten off-my-tits-drunk with them at least once.
8. Which stage of the mourning process are you in regarding Oprah’s exit from her TV show? Be honest.
I don’t think I’ve ever watched an Oprah show from beginning to end.
9. If someone fist-bumped you, would you a) fist-bump them back, b) ask why that person is such an awful punch thrower, or c) tell them it’s probably better to keep their hands to themselves at all times?
I will confess, I am a serial fist-bumper after a few pints. So definitely A.
10. I believe there are two types of people in the world: those who are generally mentally energized after being around people and those who are generally mentally exhausted after being around people. Which are you?
I shall now blow your theory out of the water because I am both. If I am with people who share the same sense of humour and level of intellect with, and therefore the conversation is a rip-roaring affair full of laughter, terrible puns, one-liners and zingers, I feel like a god after. If on the other hand I am dealing with a complete dullard, and I have felt it necessary that I carry the conversation, then I feel like I’ve been sucked dry.
Now according to the rules I’m supposed to compile a list of 10 questions and then pick 10 fellow bloggers to ask said questions to…
But it’s a beautiful crisp autumn Saturday afternoon, I have been stuck at home every weekend for four weeks because I’ve been ill.