Hello weird looks I have gotten from every single girlfriend I have ever had. We have an explanation!

And the person who has just mind-blown my life with this insight is CurlyCarly‘s sister. Yes Curly Carly has once again gotten a shout out in this blog. I know what you’re thinking, well I can think of several thoughts that could actually be going through those evil minds of yours:

1) Me and Curly Carly are actually the same person, and this is some weird narcissistic and truly psychotic thing happening here.

2) I am stalking Curly Carly and have set up camp in the crawl space of her home.

3) How many grapes can Cap’n Sweatpants fit in his mouth?

To answer those thoughts:

1) No way do I have the mental capacity to be THAT humorous.

2) It’s actually quite warm here. I shall request for the heat to be turned down.

3) 8 (I have a very sensitive gag-reflex)

But the reason for the shout out is this this line uttered by her sister who I’m assuming is the Dalai Lama (you know, because of the wisdomus qualities in such a simple statement)

Curly Carly's sister in all her awesomeness

“…he’s a typical male, since he seems to think that Love + Random (critical) thought + Backpedaling = Love”

And as soon as I read that, mind was blown.

It’s true, well for me anyway. But there is a logical explanation to this, which I thought everyone (and by everyone I am including women now, cause you know, you’re sorta people too… sometimes :P) knew.

It’s like this:

Love = You tell someone you like them/care for them/love them whatever. A genuine show of affection.

Random (critical) Thought = Okay it’s not ALWAYS critical, and often when it is we don’t mean it to be, and it’s usually something about the female.

Backpedaling = usually something related to the Random Thought and usually reinforces the underlying message behind it.

Lets take a look at at the note from the boy to the niece, which CurlyCarly posted on her wall…

(oh crap I should ask for permission).

(… waiting on permission… waiting… waiting… GOT IT!)

And we will do a detailed breakdown of what it says to what the boy actually meant:

Dear Reese,

(Hello Female That I Find VERY attractive, cause see I used “Dear” intead of just “Hi” or “Hello”. This is the convention of all love letters so you should treat this as such)

I want to tell you that you’re hot and beautiful and you should have this beautiful rose of red.  Happy Valentine’s Day. 

(This means exactly what it says.)

P.S. Why did you wear your Toms 5 weekdays in a row? 

(Now we come to the area where the hardwired mind of males, comes into direct conflict with the software powerhouse mind of the female. But this is not a criticism. This is used to show that the male is attracted enough to the female that he has noticed a fairly insignificant detail about her, and now he is displaying this knowledge as a means to show his affection. Also! The male phrased this as a question. This is also meant to show the female that not only does the male care enough to notice the small details, but he is also willing to help in case she has suffered some sort of shoe mishap, which may have led to her wearing the same shoes five days in a row.)

P.S.S. I like your Toms.

(Now if you take into account what the male intended to convey with the previous line, you can see that this is not backpedaling. This is a reaffirmation of his affection. Not only has he noticed that the female has worn the same shoes 5 days in a row, not only is he willing to help in case there was a shoe mishap, the male is also telling the female, that I like your taste in clothing. And that you can wear the same thing for 5 days straight and I will still like you.)

And there you have it.

A simple misunderstanding.

A slight differing of viewpoints.

A miniscule variation of thought.

That’s all that stood between me and every single ex-girlfriend from giving me this look:

I have seen you many times...

Given that I’m not a tennis ball and that person giving the look is a dude.

But you get the gist.


6 responses to “Hello weird looks I have gotten from every single girlfriend I have ever had. We have an explanation!

  1. Ah, you have used the quote well! Sorry for the delay in granting permission, that pesky time difference causes all kinds of problems.

    I’ll be sending this to my sister so she’ll know the impact she’s had. Together, us women can change the world…one man at a time.

    Now, if you will, please remove yourself from my crawl space. Actually, on second thought, I don’t have a crawl space.

    • Change? Wait… who said anything about change? It’s just an explanation… I’m not going to change anything 😛 I just know why I kept getting those looks. And you *think* you don’t have a crawl space *muahahahahahahahahah*

  2. (Enter Curly Carly’s sister): Finally!!!! Somebody appreciates my wisdom!! The lesson to be learned here is that we should look to the simple, unbiased and free-spirited minds of children to solve our complex adult problems. We must learn to think like children, or simply analyze the Valentine’s day cards they may receive or give! P.s. thanks for posting such an awesome photo of me!!

    • It’s the wisdomus one! Oh hail all mighty and knowing Goddess Whitney! I prostrate myself upon this rough carpet in honour of your munificence. I also humbly give to you this offering of a coffee and a bacon sandwhich, so that I might appease thy wrath and that thoust find it in thy heart to provide this your humble servant your sage wisdom and your vast intellect. I will take it as a sign that if you do not strike me down in the next 5 seconds that I should drink this coffee and eat this bacon sandwich to honour the name.

      Thy will be done
      *nom nom nom nom*
      (yes, shamelessly stolen from Homer)

  3. With praise like that, you absolutely deserve the bacon sandwich! I will reach out to you anytime I am feeling worthless and seeking an ego-boost.

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