Hello “I Confess Stupid Things I Did As A Child Sunday” or is this my Catholic upbringing rearing its ugly head?


I’m not sure if I ever outed my Catholic upbringing on here and I’m too lazy to check, so if I have, let’s all be polite and pretend that I didn’t or that you’ve also forgotten. Okay?

Now, I have nothing against Catholics, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Taoists, Confucianists, or any other belief system that exists. Everyone has a right to believe whatever they want, how they want, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else, and when it does hurt someone else that’s because you’re being a douchebag about stuff.

And if I seem to be making fun of Catholicism it’s because I grew up as a Catholic (and don’t try to out-Catholic me, cause I was an altar-boy, went to an all-boys Catholic high school run by some sort of monastic order, and I’ve been trained to remember my confirmation name as part of my “full name” even when there is no legal leg for that to stand on… oh and I played one of those baby saints one time… true story). I’m not any more (if you hadn’t already gotten that by the tone of the paragraph).

But some things have stuck.

I could probably pray the rosary if pushed.

I could pull out a mean “grace before meal” prayer with an appropriate bible passage, if necessary.

And I find confession cathartic.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been blogging on and off for as long as blogging was around… it’s like confession, but instead of a priest to listen to my woes and tell me to recite a couple of prayers, I have a collection of strangers who will laugh (and maybe learn) at my stupidity and leave their own strange comments.

Either way… it works.

So for the very first installment of “I Confess Stupid Things I Did As A Child Sunday” –

“I once cut me a slice of butter thinking it was cheese. I didn’t like it. So I cut another slice from the other end thinking that maybe only one end had gone bad… The worst thing. I didn’t work out that I had eaten butter till 10 years later.”

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8 responses to “Hello “I Confess Stupid Things I Did As A Child Sunday” or is this my Catholic upbringing rearing its ugly head?

  1. Damn! I think you’re a darling man ’cause you almost always make me laugh! That’s what clueless Catholic boys do to me. I’ve missed your posts. Hope you had a good Christmas & New Year’s.

  2. That sounds genuinely disgusting. I’d say it is just awful if it wasn’t that I once thought whipped butter was whipped cream and put it over my ice cream at work. Yeah, disgusting.

    • I think dairy products try to ninja their way into our stomachs by any means necessary. This may or may nor include tactics like impersonating whipped cream, or seduction by cheese. Me and Tanner are examples of their victims. You have been warned.

  3. LOL.

    I am going to enjoy these. Especially if the comments are going to bring out similar stories. If I can think of one I will join in as well.

    • Whoa. I didn’t even think about other people sharing their stupid stuff. That would be awesome. It would prove to everyone related to me that I wasn’t a special needs child growing up! πŸ˜›

  4. Weirdo… I quite happily ate large chunks of butter when my mother wasn’t looking. Mmmmm…salty…..

  5. LOL. To each their own πŸ™‚ I put salt on my apples if that helps out my weird-o-meter reading?

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