Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


LOL

I can’t believe my mind didn’t make the connection with my “Hello” titles with Inigo Montoya’s line from The Princess Bride until now.

Yeesh.

And yes that movie is awesome, anything who thinks otherwise is dead inside. DEAD! The book is okay too. But I think this is one of those very rare instances when the movie actually outshines the book.

Plus look at all the great lines!

Vizzini: I’ve hired you to help me start a war. It’s an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss… I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He’s really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH

Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Inigo Montoya: [drawing his sword] You seem a decent fellow… I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow… I hate to die.

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I’ve worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don’t know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I… am not left-handed.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage]
Man in Black: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there’s something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I’m not left-handed either.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage]

Vizzini: I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.
Man in Black: You’re that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

Man in Black: I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Vizzini: For the Princess?
Man in Black: [nods]
Vizzini: To the death?
Man in Black: [nods]
Vizzini: I accept!

Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn’t you list that among our assets in the first place?

Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

The Grandson: They’re kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts?

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck: I think you’re bluffing.
Westley: It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Westley: DROP… YOUR… SWORD!
Prince Humperdinck: [Humperdinck’s mouth hangs open, drops sword to floor]

Okay there are bits of the movie that are now seeing it as an adult is painfully cheesy. But that’s really whats so great about it. It takes you back to that time when you were a kid, when you actually didn’t realise the cheesiness of it all.

A time when happily ever after was not just a vague possibility but a certainty. When the bad guys would get their comeuppance and the good guys would ride away to the sunset, and when the world was your own personal fairy tale.

Now, while not all of us will ever get a “happily ever after”, I think “happy right now” works well enough for most of us. As long as we appreciate those tiny slivers in time, when everything seems perfect.

It’s when I look back at all the great things I experienced as a kid that I start warming up to the idea of babies and all that jazz. I mean what better way to experience all the stuff you loved as a kid than sharing them with your own?

Who knows, maybe they’ll look up at me and ask if we could watch it again… What else can I say to that except…

As you…

… PSYCHE!

HELL NO! GO TO BED YOU LITTLE RUGRAT!

2 responses to “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

  1. Glad to know I am not the only one that made that connection. I love that movie. I don’t care if it’s cheesy or poorly done. It’s awesome and that’s that.

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