Okay, I’ve been having a lot of weird things happen to me lately.
One of which was when my crotch was heated to super-nova like temperatures.
And then there’s this.
I have had a lot of teenagers hitting on me lately. Well 5, but when you’re 32 even being acknoledged that you’re male by anyone under 25 means a helluva lot, it happening with teenagers is unheard of. And I’m still waiting for the dreaded “Oh you’re like my dad!” comment that’s bound to come by sooner or later. And I’ve specifically said 19 year old, cause admitting that I got hit on by a gaggle of 16 year old’s on the bus was a tad too creepy to put as a title. But now that you’ve read this far its too late for you! HAHAHA! You’ve been sullied! You must read on! Muahahahaha.
I’m a freakin genius.
But I won’t talk about the bus situation, cause hell, even I’m a little traumatised by that one, and I’m not sure if they were hitting on me or mocking me.
Anyways. Where was I? Oh yes, 19 year old women. So there I was, at the gym I’ve recently joined (more on that later) I had just gotten off the treadmill, I was dripping with sweat, and trying to do my stretches without throwing up.
As I am trying to get my foot up on that bar thats about waist high to stretch (and failing, think Mr Bean type of fail, and youre getting a rough picture of how badly I was failing at it), a quite attractive young girl leans on the bar as well giving me a big smile. I smile back and think, “well that’s odd, hookers don’t normally come up to me on Wednesdays” And yes while it is quite offensive of me to think that an attractive young woman, in shorts that were so short that they really should be called “midgets”, and a top that seemed too tight to reasonably expect blood circulation to various extremities possible, is a hooker. Seriously how often does this happen?? Read the title of the blog! To people like me? Never!
So after a few minutes of conversation, I’ve established that she’s not a hooker and just weirdly friendly. Apparently she took “pity” on me because I was doing all my stretches wrong. But lets face it, the girl wanted some Cap’n action *rowr*.
But seriously now, that is a little weird right?
Anyways, as she’s trying to bend my in ways I’m pretty sure I’m not meant to go, she says something which pretty much indicated she was still in high school. I just look at her, and bluntly ask how old are you? 19 she says. Why how old are you? This is where you would think the cool, calm and oh so smooth Cap’n that you all know and love would come to the fore. Let the girl down gently as it were.
I laughed my frickin’ head off.
I laughed in her face. I would point at her and laugh. I laughed on the floor. I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. And when the giggles would subside. I would look at her, and start laughing again.
I’m not sure whether I was laughing at her or myself. Even now looking back on it I couldn’t tell you, all I know was at that time and place, her being 19 was the funniest thing in the world.
By the time I came to my senses, she was fairly pissed off. And I think I managed to stutteringly giggle that it wasn’t her it was me, or something inane like that. She stormed off and I continued to stretch the wrong way.
Kids… what you gonna do, eh?