Monthly Archives: September 2011

Hello confusing female in my life.Stop it.

Sooooo… since everyone seems so interested about why I think females are a confusing minefield of half-truths, mind-games and double-meanings, here’s the story.

There’s this girl. Isn’t there always? Unless it’s a guy (if you’re a girl, or if you’re that way inclined).

We get along great, we’ve established we’re physically attracted to each other, we’ve both decided that we are to remain friends at this point because neither of us are interested in a relationship at the moment (I am too obsessed with paying off debt and building my career, she’s just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship). So friend-zone, right? I’m fine with this, actually until I sort out a few other issues (on top of the debt issue) I am much more suited to friendships than relationships. I’ve realised I am a kick-ass friend, but thoroughly sucky boyfriend. There are reasons for this, but that’s a whole other post.

But, she keeps dropping little hints that she is actually interested in a relationship, but at the same time drops hints that she isn’t ready for a relationship.

I was telling her about one of the girls at work getting weirdly flirty with me for no apparent reason (she’s not on my team, the only time I speak to her is when she walks by and leans on my desk in her ridiculously low tops. Before she started doing this, I may have said two words to her). Then she goes on about guys she’s hooked up with, and how they’re either way too clingy or just wanted her for sex. As you can see we’re comfortable enough with each other that, we can talk about this sort of stuff. From my understanding this sort of conversation is typical of the “just friends” dynamic.

Then I move on to, the lack of available singles who aren’t notoriously clingy or just wanted a bang, both for her and me. And she agrees, I rant and rave (as per usual) and she wholeheartedly agrees. And then she says, “we have sooo much in common. I love that!”Okay, that was a little weird. Of course we have stuff in common, this is why we’re friends rather than mortal enemies.

But I gloss over it. All good. Then she follows up with, how even she’s been with these guys, she wasn’t really interested in them, or isn’t interested any more and that it’s frustrating. I said whoa whoa, chill. No ones rushing you to be in a relationship, enjoy singledom, you’ll find the right guy/girl (she’s bi-sexual if I didn’t mention that earlier). Hell, I even suggested to go full on lesbian. She laughs it off, and says there’s still one guy she would like to try it with before she even considers that road. I go “oooooOOOoOOoooOOOooh… do tell!” but she plays coy.

The she goes on about how she wants come to my new place, once I get it, and spend a weekend… “in bed”. I laugh this off, and say something along the lines of, you want to crash my pad AND steal my bed, you’re straining the limits of friendship here buddy. And she says something along the lines of, who said you wouldn’t be in the bed with me? Now, call me a simpleton, but that is flirting right?  Then I called her a dirty whore, and the she called me a filthy cheap slutbag. This went on for a while. Feel the love.

And then I had to go. And we said bye. But before she goes she says “I’m really glad we’re friends, you know that right?”, I reply back “Pfft, course you are, but everyone knows you’re secretly in love with me”, she just laughs. And from my experience that’s a classic sign of that not only am I in friend zone, I am mayor of the friend zone.

Also that’s the last time we’ve talked which was about a couple of weeks ago. I’ve had no contact with her since. I’ve gotten no calls, texts or emails, and I haven’t sent her any either.

Now I ask, am I reading too much into these things? I usually just shrug these things off, cause well I’m a  filthy cheap slutbag, but this one is bugging me for some odd reason.

And it’s not like the knowledge of her interest will change anything. If she is interested, I don’t want a relationship. If she isn’t interested, great, I don’t want a relationship.

So why am I asking? Cause it’s just so damn confusing!


Hello payday + tax refund… holy crap I’m rich!

So I’ve been ill the past couple of days. And when I get sick I become an anti-social crotchety old grump, well more so than I usually am anyways. I don’t even like interacting with people via email and text while I’m sick. I just sit in a darkened room and feel sorry for myself until I get better. Yes, I’m one of THOSE people.

So today is the first day back at work, I’m feeling about 1000% better than I was on Tuesday, but only about probably only 50% normal. But I got a metaphorical hop, skip and jump in my step, along with an energy drink intravenous injection when I opened up my browser to do the fortnightly bill payments.

What I was in my bank account was actually double what I was expecting.

So while I did my Snoopy Happy dance (see above), to the bewilderment of my work colleagues, I realised something. I have just stepped into a veritable minefield, and I’m tap-dancing my way across.

I’m good with consistent budgets. When I know how much money is coming in, at regular intervals, I can stick to it and usually come out on top (unless I get sick of it of course, but that’s a whooooole other issue). But when it comes to budgeting for those unexpected windfalls (note: I always thought the word was “winfall”but apparently it is windfall. Basically in reference to the olden days when fruit would be blown off a tree by the wind, therefore providing you with a tasty treat, but without the work… the things you learn from this blog… 😉 ) I tend to go all gooey-brained.

I mean my budget takes into account if any emergencies which may crop up, but I don’t think I’ve sat down and actually thought about what would happen if I got more money than expected. Okay, I was expecting this money, but its one thing to expect nearly 2 grand to be available to you, it’s another to actually see the extra moolah in your bank account. And I’m not quite sure what to do with it.   I know I said I would keep it aside for paying off the lease amount of my old place, but I have these little voices suggesting the oh so many wonderful ways I could dispose of this money.

The little voice in the tweed jacket, bifocals and smoking a pipe says I should just pump it all into debt repayment, and stay for as long as possible in my current untenable living situation.

The voice in the slim cut, single breasted black suit with the red silk lining is shouting the word “suits” at me repeatedly. And emailing it to me. And texting it to me via his iPhone.

The greasy haired, sweatpants-wearing, pimple-ridden gamer voice in me wants to use the money to buy a new gaming desktop.

The khaki-wearing, polo-top aficionado, who is in “nesting” mode, wants to use the money to go out and buy some new furniture.

And the sane voice (har har har, yes there is ONE sane voice in my head. He’s usually gagged and tied up by the others but he’s there!) is mumbling through his gag that I should stick with the plan.

The thing I really don’t want to do, is to not listen to any of these voices and just slowly eat away at these funds, with NOTHING to show for it. If I’m going to blow the money, I’d like to have at least something to show for it, rather than spending it on crazy nights out.

Isn’t it funny, we plan our budgets, our spending, our life to cater for the bad things that could happen to us (“emergency fund” anyone?), but we seem to be at a loss, well I am anyways, when we get a windfall.

I guess when it comes to money, it’s not that often that we think someone will give us more than expected, but we fully expect to be charged a whole lot more than we thought.

Hello life, please hold. Your call is important to us.

I’m not sure if I’ve written about this before, I feel like I have but a quick search on the ol’ blog didn’t come up with anything. Maybe I have but I’ve just phrased it in another way.

But moving on.

Does anyone else feel like their life is on hold/pause until they’ve gotten their debt repaid? That’s what it feels like to me. And yes I know I’ve gotten a new job, and I’m looking for a new place, but I don’t know, everything else seems to just have stagnated. Maybe its just the ol’ mid-month blues, which I know I’ve talked about before. And maybe its cause I haven’t progressed much farther into my debt repayments since I started my new job.

I get paid fortnightly instead of weekly, and I’m still getting used to the new schedule and not budgeting accordingly. I’ve had to draw a bit on my debt repayment amount to actually keep on living, so I didn’t pay off all that much from my last pay-cheque and won’t be paying much off on this one either.

Right now I just wish it was 6 months in the future. I don’t want a million dollars, I don’t want a fancy car… well okay I do, but that’s not the point. I would be happy if I woke up in the morning and I had none of those things, but 6 months had passed and I stuck to my budget and I had paid off 2 of these damn cards. That would make me happy, just knowing that I’ve made some progress, right now I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall, and not only is the wall winning, it’s growing a spike right where I bang my head.

Anyways, thats my “feel sorry for myself” post for the month… LOL… who am I kidding? There will be more! MORE I SAY! Tomorrow will showcase the confusion that women, well one particular woman, is causing me.


Hello sobriety, welcome back.

Okay after a 1 day and 15 hours after the fact, I can honestly say I feel that I am no longer sporting a hangover.

This is one thing they don’t tell you in those beer/bourbon/whiskey/vodka commercials. Sure drinking can be fun. Yes, you (well me anyways) seem to get into these wild, whacked-out, crazzzzy adventures that provide many a humourous anecdote to be told at a later date. Yes, alcohol is a great social lubricant. What they don’t tell you is that, the older you get, the less fun the after effects of alcohol consumption are.

Now that I’m *sob* 32, drinking seems to be less a sprint then marathon (get drunk as quickly as possible, but stay upright for as long as possible) than it is an excercise in masochism. Back in my 20’s I could drink and drink and drink annnnnd drink, and wake up the next morning relatively refreshed. If in my drunk-adled mind I remembered to guzzle a litre of water before passing out, even better.

Now… that is not the case.

It takes at least 24 hours to recover from a big night. With lots of promises to my self about never touching fire-water ever again and feeling sorry for myself, wondering how much it would cost to hire a hitman to put me out of my misery, and also the cost of hiring a nurse to take care of me while the hitman is in transit.

Also what they don’t tell you is that if on your journey through the myriad types of alcohol to determine preference. If you have a very bad experience with a particular product, a part of your brain will hold on to that experience forever. So that the smell alone, hell even the thought of drinking the product, will cause a gag reflex.

For me these are OP Bundaberg Rum and black Sambucca, to a lesser extent Tequila.

And while if I have to, I can drink these things, it takes a lot of chaser to get it down and keep it down. Except tequila, which is really only a danger if I am already drunk. The other two will have me hurling even during the early stages of the night.

So bear that in mind next time you see those young tanned lithe bodies in that alcoholic beverage ad, cradling those bottles or glasses in their hands, like soft and tender lovers. Beads of condensation, slowly trickling there way down bodies. Easy smiles and easy laughter, lubricated by the lowering of inhibitions that alcohol provides…



I had a point, I know I did… but now, all I want is a drink 😛

Hello, ugh ooer, ungh *dry retch* uuuugggghhh

Someone help me get twitter on this thing.

I’m still recovering from the weekend.

Brain no work good.

Hell job, I love you. And yes I’m a little drunk. And yes it’s 1:34pm on a Friday.

Okay this government job rocks.

I’ve had three weeks (actually exactly 3 weeks 2 days ago) for the shine to come off, and everyday perception to come to the fore.

But I can tell you right now, I am still excited about being here.

Okay I’ve had 4 beers for lunch, and that might be colouring my perception on things but seriously, even without the beers. I am enjoying myself immensely.

There is a lot of opportunity to learn, opportunities to advance, opportunities to branch out to other works. My manager seems ecstatic about my current work output but at the same time is able to identify places where I need improvement. The training progresses well. I’ve made significant connections with a few of my workmates. One has already offered me use of his gym membership for free! Which I am taking up. And I seem to be complimenting the team well in view of my skill set.

Today one of the guys took me out to the pub for a few drinks, the second time since I’ve started that I’ve gone for Friday lunch drinks. And I can see this continuing. It basically lets me see the office politics, but relaxed enough that I do not need to join in. It gives me the background information on the relationships that have already been established, but I still feel free to either act on the opinions voiced, or maintain neutrality.

Let me say first of all that I suck at office politics. I am the one person in the office that WILL treat everyone the same (unless you’re a complete douche bag to me, or you are actively stupid) I will treat my manager the exact same way I would treat the most junior member of my team (apart from myself that is). I just physically cannot treat anyone differently unless they are stupid (or a complete asshole). My previous managers have actually commented on this quality of mine, that I seem to be able to socialise/talk to comfortably with anyone within an organisation. It’s not that I consciously do it to pander to management. I usually just realise that I can do what you other people are doing given enough experience and/or training, and anyone could do what I do if they had the same level of experience.  And its hard to kiss the arse of someone when you know they’re fundamentally like you except they’ve just been in the business more, or look down on someone just because they haven’t had the same experience as you.

Apparently this is a trait that is rare. Enough so that I tend to usually do great in career development reviews merely cause everyone in the office loves me.

I actually never thought this was rare until I landed my first office job, when I would get invited to meetings, and everyone would bitch about someone who wasn’t present. And I sometimes wonder whether or not I get the same treatment if I’m not around “that sweatpants, he kisses EVERYONES ass”. But such thoughts I rarely dwell on. If they do they do, if they don’t they don’t. Nothing in my power could stop them from doing it. I’m not going to act differently just cause a few people have an issue with it (which has become an issue in previous roles when CEO’s/General Managers believed I should pander to them).

So in conclusion I’m drunk and you’re all sexy. I love you kids!

Hello the idea of living with 3 girls: the conclusion

Thanks to all for your comments, even to MutantSupermodel and Rafiki for their thoughts that such a living arrangement would inevitably produce blog fodder for their amusement, and HappyHomeowners cryptic responses about sterophonic humping noises and chocolate.

Now, from all the opinions that you’ve given me I’ve come up with two facts, that are undeniable and agreed to by all (including myself).

It will be difficult.


I’m willing to risk it.

Now for those face-palming me right now, hear me out. I have NOT decided to do it. The above conclusions are by no means a statement of my moving in with 3 girls. Only that I would be willing to consider it, IF upon meeting (rather than just a phone conversation) all three occupants, my scary-o-meter doesn’t go off the scale AND the house is not a pig-sty AND the room is an adequate size AND they have well-established rules that mitigates having four adults living in one house AND I get along with (judged to the best of my ability considering that I will have a limited time frame to make this conclusion) ALL three people and ALL three people seem to get along with each other.

THEN and only THEN, will I move in.

As you can see there are a few caveats and addendum before I would move in to the place with three girls. But to be fair, all those conditions HAVE to be met before I would move in with anyone I wasn’t too familiar with. So it would be remiss of me to completely disregard the three girls when they could be the most well-adjusted and liveable option out of all the others.

Many of you have the opinion that this won’t be the case of course. And I am inclined to agree, but I think I should give them the chance to prove me wrong.

And yes, I have considered that during the initial meeting I could be told a bunch of half-truths, hell, maybe even outright lies about their living situation. They could behave in a manner (either singly or as a group) that is totally opposite their normal group dynamic. But again, those dangers will be present if I pick any group of strangers to live with, whether it be 3 girls, 3 guys, a guy and girl or any combination.

So once again, thanks to all for their input. And I will keep you posted.

The next entries about this topic will be regarding meeting the actual people and the first impressions I formulate.

And as always, feel free to say I told you so, when I report that the interview with the 3 girls devolved into a bitching match about who didn’t take the garbage out 3 weeks ago, who used up the last milk and put the carton back in the fridge, and who slept with whose boyfriend.

So, stay tune, same sweaty time! Same sweaty channel!