Sooooo… since everyone seems so interested about why I think females are a confusing minefield of half-truths, mind-games and double-meanings, here’s the story.
There’s this girl. Isn’t there always? Unless it’s a guy (if you’re a girl, or if you’re that way inclined).
We get along great, we’ve established we’re physically attracted to each other, we’ve both decided that we are to remain friends at this point because neither of us are interested in a relationship at the moment (I am too obsessed with paying off debt and building my career, she’s just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship). So friend-zone, right? I’m fine with this, actually until I sort out a few other issues (on top of the debt issue) I am much more suited to friendships than relationships. I’ve realised I am a kick-ass friend, but thoroughly sucky boyfriend. There are reasons for this, but that’s a whole other post.
But, she keeps dropping little hints that she is actually interested in a relationship, but at the same time drops hints that she isn’t ready for a relationship.
I was telling her about one of the girls at work getting weirdly flirty with me for no apparent reason (she’s not on my team, the only time I speak to her is when she walks by and leans on my desk in her ridiculously low tops. Before she started doing this, I may have said two words to her). Then she goes on about guys she’s hooked up with, and how they’re either way too clingy or just wanted her for sex. As you can see we’re comfortable enough with each other that, we can talk about this sort of stuff. From my understanding this sort of conversation is typical of the “just friends” dynamic.
Then I move on to, the lack of available singles who aren’t notoriously clingy or just wanted a bang, both for her and me. And she agrees, I rant and rave (as per usual) and she wholeheartedly agrees. And then she says, “we have sooo much in common. I love that!”Okay, that was a little weird. Of course we have stuff in common, this is why we’re friends rather than mortal enemies.
But I gloss over it. All good. Then she follows up with, how even she’s been with these guys, she wasn’t really interested in them, or isn’t interested any more and that it’s frustrating. I said whoa whoa, chill. No ones rushing you to be in a relationship, enjoy singledom, you’ll find the right guy/girl (she’s bi-sexual if I didn’t mention that earlier). Hell, I even suggested to go full on lesbian. She laughs it off, and says there’s still one guy she would like to try it with before she even considers that road. I go “oooooOOOoOOoooOOOooh… do tell!” but she plays coy.
The she goes on about how she wants come to my new place, once I get it, and spend a weekend… “in bed”. I laugh this off, and say something along the lines of, you want to crash my pad AND steal my bed, you’re straining the limits of friendship here buddy. And she says something along the lines of, who said you wouldn’t be in the bed with me? Now, call me a simpleton, but that is flirting right? Then I called her a dirty whore, and the she called me a filthy cheap slutbag. This went on for a while. Feel the love.
And then I had to go. And we said bye. But before she goes she says “I’m really glad we’re friends, you know that right?”, I reply back “Pfft, course you are, but everyone knows you’re secretly in love with me”, she just laughs. And from my experience that’s a classic sign of that not only am I in friend zone, I am mayor of the friend zone.
Also that’s the last time we’ve talked which was about a couple of weeks ago. I’ve had no contact with her since. I’ve gotten no calls, texts or emails, and I haven’t sent her any either.
Now I ask, am I reading too much into these things? I usually just shrug these things off, cause well I’m a filthy cheap slutbag, but this one is bugging me for some odd reason.
And it’s not like the knowledge of her interest will change anything. If she is interested, I don’t want a relationship. If she isn’t interested, great, I don’t want a relationship.
So why am I asking? Cause it’s just so damn confusing!