I never meant for this to be a daily blog. I guess the writer in me just got carried away.
I tend to be a starter, I like starting projects and then get all caught up in it, pouring every bit of my energy into it. Then some time, some where along the line, I lose that spark and it just falls by the wayside. As what happened with the budget after 9 weeks at the beginning of this year (which, as of yesterday I have tied, hurrah for me! I just realised that, so yesterdays weekly update did have a point) and my painting (I have a bunch of blank canvas’ in storage) NaNoWriMo (I get to about 10,000 words and then – blah, three years in a row now).
But I know why I do this, at least.
I have authority issues (where it actually comes from, I have no idea, probably just plain stubboness). When someone tells me to do something (or that I can’t do something), my subconcious will automatically rebel and will refuse to do (or do, if I’ve been forbidden) whatever it is. And I’m not just talking about other people, even if I think to myself “okay self, you HAVE to do this. No excuses.” I’ll start to feel myself edging away, trying to find a way to rebel and do the complete opposite.
Although this independent streak of mine has provided me with a lot of opportunities and experiences that I never would have had (living on an island resort for 2 years, moving to 3 different cities with no support system whatsoever, trying out for the fire brigades, university, etc etc) its also created a lot of headaches (15 grand worth of debt for europe, so many job opportunities trashed, burned, discarded and otherwise destroyed, a hundred started projects gathering dust etc etc).
Even writing this post I’m getting the itch to just skip a day, just to prove to myself that I can.
For the rest of this month at least. There WILL be one post daily. And I will try not to cheat by posting something from youtube or something…
And just to distract you all…
Here’s something from youtube!
This song is doing the rounds here, and its stuck in my head… *singing while walking to the shops*